


Grimm and Clock

by Gameofthe100



Category: The 100 (TV), The 100 Series - Kass Morgan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Alternate Universe - Time Travel, Bellamy Blake & John Murphy are Best Friends, Bellamy Blake & Nathan Miller Friendship, Clarke Griffin & Raven Reyes are Best Friends, F/M, Humor, Minor Jasper Jordan/Maya Vie, Minor Monty Green/Nathan Miller, Minor Octavia Blake/Lincoln, Minor Wells Jaha/Raven Reyes, Octavia Blake & Clarke Griffin are Best Friends, Past Finn Collins/Raven Reyes, Slow Burn Bellamy Blake/Clarke Griffin, Wells Jaha Lives
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-15
Updated: 2017-10-24
Packaged: 2018-05-26 21:48:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 20
Words: 20,049
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6257161
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gameofthe100/pseuds/Gameofthe100
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Clarke has the ability to travel through time, but every time she does, someone around her in the time she's in, dies. Through the death of a stranger, Clarke returns to a reality where several things have changed. The biggest change is that she is told that she fell in love with the one person she hated, Bellamy Blake.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Time Takes It All

**Author's Note:**

> I've been wanting to write my own fic for a while and then suddenly got inspired to write this... Please excuse any errors... I might have written this during class and didn't edit it.
> 
> This is inspired mostly by Talking In Your Sleep by the Civil Wars and then Ain't Gonna Stop by Natural Child for the second half. Hope you enjoy :)

The dreams came like they always did. 

There was a sickening acid taste in her mouth when Clarke replayed the moment that she had lived one too many times and then too many times after that. The moment that should have remained memory. 

She had not been old enough to have had to experience what she did, but no one ever is. But at sixteen she had Jumped for the first time, unaware of what was happening, and she forever had to contend with the consequences of the surge of energy into her limbs. 

The dreams were different to the real event, slower and she was more aware of what had happened. It had begun with the headaches and then the feeling like flying, or falling because of the disaster that awaited at the end. She relived it like watching on a television screen, blankly and emptily, hardly registering what was happening, although she felt the need to scream against the cage that was her dream. The replay was always like molasses and she felt like she was swimming, drowning, being smothered. 

The dream happened like it always did. 

She would open her eyes to her living room, the same as it had been since the Griffins had moved into the house, and she saw, momentarily her father, younger than she had ever remembered seeing him, bend over to talk to a blond toddler who smiled at the man in front of her with blind adoration. 

Then it ends, almost immediately. Jake Griffin's eyes glaze over and he keels over, collapsing onto the glass coffee table next to the toddler. Next to Clarke, who at three years old doesn't understand why her father won't get back up and soon begins to cry. The sixteen year old Clarke remembers doing nothing, she couldn't because this seemed so unreal, so fantastic, that it couldn't be real. The crash brings more noise, her mother Abby calling amused from the other room to ask whether everything is fine. This is replaced by screams which drive the sixteen year old Clarke to back into the corner with the bookshelf as she tries to remain hidden. They never see her, the three-year-old Clarke, or even her mother. 

She is simply a spectator, an intruder and the ruiner of their lives and she has to be the one to live in the destruction that follows. Even in her dream, Clarke can recall returning to a new existence. 

She had missed the grief and returned to find her mother healed and remarried, a new coffee table and new family portraits littering the walls and mantelpieces. Everything became different and ugly and new and Clarke was disoriented because she was living someone else's life. 

The next few times she Jumped were never replayed, although they too were part of the black pollution in her mind. 

The dreams ended like they always did. 

Clarke would feel like falling again and she would wake up, clutching the sheets to keep her in this time, to keep her from landing. This time was no different, although she was alone in her new apartment, with no one to hear her scream. 

The next morning, blurry eyed and annoyed, Clarke moved around the kitchen, trying to get some semblance of functionality in her new independence. Her mother had helped her rent an apartment, more to get rid of the sullen young adult Clarke had proved to be. The building was a little dilapidated, but it screamed Bohemia and Clarke loved it. It was on the cheaper side but she lived far enough from her home and far enough from the family that she had created. 

Clarke had woken up later than usual and was going to be late for work again if she didn't hurry. Indra would not be happy if that happened. Pulling on a sweatshirt and leggings and chewing a bagel at the same time, she moved to the door, hoping last nights make up wasn't too smudged and her hair wasn't too wild. 

She began to lock up when she heard voices in the apartment across from hers.  


"For god's sake, O, don't drop anything!" A male voice called. 

The door was open and she could see the starkness of the apartment, which was empty except for the few boxes on the floor of the kitchenette. 

She could see the man who the voice belonged to too, but his face was obscured by a pile of boxes that he was setting down on the floor. 

A girl bounced out and glared at the man, "Just focus on your boxes and stop worrying about the ones I carried. Besides, everything is wrapped. It won't break," 

She was beautiful, Clarke noticed: tall, with long brown hair and a strong jawline. The man with her was equally attractive when he turned around, but he had freckles and dark set eyes that dared Clarke to say something instead of stare. 

Realising that she still was holding her bagel in her mouth, and her door was still unlocked, she hurriedly turned to complete her task.  


The young woman, O, also looked at Clarke and smiled when she did.  


"Hey neighbour! We just moved here, if the boxes aren't an indication of that. Always stating the obvious," she laughed and moved out of the apartment to stand closer to Clarke. 

"I'm Octavia, by the way and that is my brother Bellamy. It's great to meet you. Have you lived here long?"  


Clarke blushed at the expectant Octavia and removed the bagel from her mouth.  


"I actually just moved in, about a week or so ago." She managed to choke out.  


"That's great! We can totally help each other unpack and stuff!"  


Bellamy moved toward Clarke as well, "Speaking of unpacking, you could come inside and help. All your boxes need to be moved into your room so we can start sorting things out,"  


Octavia rolled her eyes, "Part of making a new life is making new friends," she said, mockingly while making a heart with her hands, and she winked at Clarke. 

Her brother glared at Octavia before settling his gaze on Clarke.  


"Hey," she said uncomfortably, knowing that she was staring wide eyed into his narrowed ones in front of her.  


"Didn't catch your name, Princess,"  
Clarke's wide eyes changed to mirror Bellamy's. 

"Excuse me? Princess?" She spat.  


"Suits you,"  


"As much as a black eye would suit you?" She paused sarcastically.  


"Doubt it," he shrugged. "Although I have the features to pull of anything."  


"Haha," Clarke deadpanned.  


"Great comeback," he said, dragging out the 'great' and Clarke clenched her jaw and shook her head. 

She liked the sister. Bellamy? Less so. Octavia groaned.  


"Come on Bellamy, the least you could do is be nice. She's my friend," she said, smiling kindly at Clarke, who could feel her face soften.  


"You don't even know her name."  


"A minor setback in an otherwise very promising relationship. And besides that is easily rectified," Octavia all but recited and grinned at Clarke. Clarke smiled too.  


"You heading out?" Octavia asked, gesturing to the door.  


"Yeah, and if I'm late for work again, Indra is going to murder me, and I'm no quite sure how much of that is an exaggeration," she sighed, looking at her watch. It would take her 10 minutes to get to work. She had fifteen.  


"Where do you work?"  


"The coffee shop and few blocks away, the Drop Ship?"  


Octavia looked excitedly at Bellamy, "We love that place! We have to unpack but I'm sure we can come through a little later. Without caffeine, my brother gets a little cranky." She teased, but Bellamy's face didn't seem to be capable of more than a scowl.  


"More cranky than now? That must be quite something to see and to hopefully avoid." 

Octavia laughed, "In his defence, he drove the whole night so he's exhausted. Being tired makes him cranky too,"  


Clarke smirked and looked at the man in front of her, "Is there anything that doesn't make you cranky?"  


Bellamy's frown deepened and she could see his jaw twitch. "Don't you have work, Princess?" 

"Just leaving," she said, smiling plastically. "And it's Clarke by the way, NOT Princess. Get it right or get decaf when you come to the Drop Ship. Later Octavia, lovely meeting you." 

Octavia and Bellamy moved back into their apartment, Octavia chastising Bellamy and Clarke left, hoping that she would at least make it to work only ten minutes late.


	2. Time flies over us, but leaves it's shadow behind

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so a very quick update but I guess I am excited to publish more. This chapter is the first chapter but from Bellamy's POV. The title for this chapter is from Nathaniel Hawthorne's novel 'The Marble Faun'. 
> 
> This fic was inspired by Home II by Dotan and Yellow Light by Of Monsters and Men.

Bellamy had wanted to move out of the shitty one bedroomed apartment since he and his mom had moved in. Once Octavia had arrived, it had been even worse trying to make the squalor a home. He supposed he should have been grateful, which he was, but he held no affection for the mouldy walls and the rusty hinges that he left behind. He had been saving since the day his mom had died, quite simply to move out and start anew. 

Octavia had cried when they left the house behind, Bellamy supposed it was because she had never known any other home. The drive from the factory district they had lived in to Arkadia had been long, and he had wondered the whole way whether it would be what he wished it to be, something better for both him and Octavia. 

They had visited Arkadia often to see their grandparents, who had both died a few years before Aurora had died, and the streets were familiar. He recognised many of the stores that passed the car windows, as if on a conveyer belt. They arrived at their new apartment in the early morning. It was brown brick, between art galleries and organic food shops. It was a nice enough area in town and he woke Octavia before parking the car in front of the apartment block. 

"Grab as many boxes as you can," he said to the bleary eyed Octavia, who's face lit up when she saw the building.

"Oh my word! Is this it, Bell? It's so great!" 

She unfastened her seat belt and moved to the boot of the car to pile two heavy boxes into her arms and she staggered into the building. The foyer was empty except for the wall of post boxes and the elevator. It was broken, an 'out of order' sign printed in blue ink on lined paper that was streaked with water marks. Octavia sighed.

"So I guess it's the stairs," she moved to the stairwell, humming strained while she heaved up the stairs and Bellamy followed after her. 

Their apartment was on the third floor, at the beginning of the passageway. It had a green door with a tarnished 23 at eye level. 

"Come on, Bell! Just open it already! My arms are killing me, I think I have the box with all your books in them,"

He chuckled, "They would not fit into one box, let's be honest with ourselves here," 

Octavia laughed. He opened the door and it opened, creaking a little, revealing a small but well lit apartment and Octavia flounced in, holding the boxes, before letting go. They landed on the floor with a thump.

"For god's sake, O, don't drop anything!" he called and Octavia skipped back to him, glaring a little.

The apartment was good, he thought, just what they needed. It wasn't excessively large, or excessively anything. It was not their old apartment, it was well maintained and he and O would each have a bedroom. It was everything they needed, and he could not imagine wanting anything else.

"Just focus on your own boxes and stop worrying about the ones I carried. Besides, everything is wrapped. It won't break,"

Her frown changed into a smile when she looked past Bellamy, out the open door. He turned around to see a young woman, who looked around Octavia's age, look wide eyed at them. She comically had a bagel held in her mouth while her hands held a back pack with a random assortment of badges and the other her keys that had a fluffy pink keychain attached. She seemed to have been struggling to lock her apartment when she had caught sight of the siblings. 

Now she was staring.

Bellamy coughed but Octavia immediately struck up conversation with the blond who looked a little uncomfortable to be approached so effortlessly by a stranger. Perhaps he could try and get O's attention to allow their neighbour to leave as she so obviously wanted to do. Besides, he thought, if anything, it would be a good way to introduce himself into the conversation. 

"Speaking of unpacking," he started and the blond flicked her eyes to his. "You could come inside and help," 

It came out as a growl and he clenched his jaw, wishing that he had had made a better first impression. The young woman's eyes widened further, and she reshuffled the things in her hands while looking at Bellamy. Octavia said something that Bellamy didn't catch, but he saw the heart she made with her hands and he frowned as he tried to recall what she had said. 

"Hey," the blond said, shuffling again and her lips tipped into a half smile. 

"Didn't catch your name, Princess," 

He swore internally when he saw her eyes narrow. It had just slipped out, and it had seemed more of an insult than what he intended. 

"Excuse me? Princess?"

"Suits you," he shrugged, trying to make it seem less insulting, but her face simply scrunched into disbelief. 

"As much as a black eye would suit you?"

"Doubt it, although I have the features to pull off anything."

"Haha," she replied, scowling at him. 

"Great comeback," he muttered, and immediately wished he hadn't when he saw her glare deepen and her shoulders tense. 

"Come on Bellamy, the least you could do is be nice. She's my friend," 

"You don't even know her name,"

"A minor setback in an otherwise very promising relationship!" 

Octavia mentioned going to the Drop Ship where the Princess worked. 

"...Without caffeine, my brother gets a little cranky." she teased, but Bellamy couldn't bring himself to smile. Their neighbour probably already thought he was an asshole. 

"More cranky than now? That must be quite something to see and to hopefully avoid." 

Octavia laughed and Bellamy decided this was his cue to leave, before he managed to put his foot into his mouth yet again.

"Is there anything that doesn't make you cranky?" 

He could feel himself frowning and he sighed before turning back to her. She was smiling cheekily at him, but not out of playfulness. 

"Don't you have work, Princess?" he sighed, watching the frown return to cloud her features. 

"Just leaving. And its Clarke by the way, NOT Princess. Get it right or get decaf when you come to the Drop Ship. Later Octavia, lovely meeting you." she smiled and walked away. 

"Well there definitely was tension, although not necessarily the good kind," Octavia exhaled. "Seriously Bellamy? You had to be a little bitch to our neighbour? You realise that she lives here? We can't avoid her! Besides, I liked her."

Bellamy sighed, closing the door behind them as they entered. 

"I'm sorry, O. I'll do something nice for her or something. I guess I'm tired."

"Or that was your idea of flirting. Pathetic, really," she chuckled.

"I wasn't-"

"-Yeah, yeah, Bell. Don't stress, I don't think she knows. At this rate, I think it would be the last thing she expects."


	3. Accept the Unchangable

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New update! 
> 
> This chapter is inspired by Complexity by Eagles of Death Metal and New Bohemia by Transviolet.

"She's probably the most annoying person in the entire world!" 

It was a Saturday night and Bellamy sat in a booth at the bar, Grounders, which was a block away from his apartment, the only establishment for blocks that wasn't serving organic coffee and art supplies. He was nursing a half full glass of beer. Miller had barely touched his and Murphy's glass was basically empty. 

Miller sighed, "Its only because she isn't giving you heart eyes."

Bellamy's jaw clenched, "Trust me, Miller, that's not it,"

"Trust me, Bellamy," Murphy piped, "I'm pretty certain that is the reason. Even your sister agrees. We all think you're completely into Clarke, although I don't see the appeal. The whole 'emo-always-wearing-black-and-a-frown-to-match' is really not my type,"

He shrugged, before downing the last of his beer. 

"I'm going to need more of this if we're going to sit around talking about our feelings and shit like that. Should I bring some nail polish too while I'm at it?"

"Fuck off, Murphy," Bellamy growled. 

"Your loss. Your fingernails could do with a splash of colour," he quipped, before slipping out of the booth and stalking over to the bar. 

"Seriously," Miller began, "If you like her, you could try and be civil at least. You're not an asshole, Blake, but it's hard not to think that when you're around Clarke."

Bellamy looked at his beer and sighed, "I think I'm also going to need a refill if this is going to be the conversation," 

Miller shrugged, "Octavia thinks you should be nicer too, if that helps," 

"Why are you talking about my love life with my sister? That's strange, Miller,"

"It's not on purpose, believe me," Murphy said, sliding back to his seat. "We still talking about this? We really do need the nail polish now, it's official," 

Bellamy sighed, "Change of subject, please," 

"Nah, I'm too invested now," Murphy said dismissively of Bellamy's protests. 

"My turn to give some advice," he said, squaring up to Bellamy, "Without coming off as totally feeley, I would talk to her. Nicely, Blake. That's the key word in this. And don't, for fuck's sake, call her Princess either. Which I still think is ridiculous. Of all nicknames..." 

Bellamy downed his beer and shuffled in his seat. "I think I'm leaving if this is your excuse for a 'fun night out',"

Millers eyes flicked to the door over Bellamy's shoulder and he nudged Murphy who twisted to look. His face split into a grin and he chuckled under his breath. 

"Wouldn't leave now," Miller muttered, "I think you'd agree, the night is looking up," 

"Oh definitely," Murphy grinned. 

Bellamy twisted around too and he saw two of Clarke's friends that he recognised from seeing around the building. The one was Latina, with long brown hair characteristically pulled into a sharp ponytail. She was wearing a red leather jacket and she was dragging her boyfriend to the bar. Bellamy remembered Octavia mentioning that he had been friends with Clarke since they were small, and he was the son of some senator in Washington. He couldn't remember his name. 

Despite them being friends of Clarke, he had no idea why Miller and Murphy were making such a scene about people he didn't know. 

And then he saw her. 

Dressed in a black sweater and the same leggings that she seemed to always wear, Clarke could be seen outside through the window talking on her cellphone. She was gesturing angrily before she hung up. 

She remained outside for a moment before turning and walking into the bar. She smiled when she saw her friends and she walked to them. She was passed a beer which she slugged before setting it down. 

Miller and Murphy smiled at each other. 

"Stop staring," Murphy sniggered, "You don't want her to notice and, God forbid, actually come over,"

Miller feigned a gasp and then Murphy twisted around, "Clarke! Hey!" 

Murphy was officially on his hit list. Bellamy looked panicked to Miller who just shrugged and turned to talk to Clarke who had waved and was walking over. 

"No no no no no," he started muttering. 

"Cut it out, Bellamy. Just remember, be nice and we do not say the 'P' word!" Murphy said, as if talking to a child. 

"Hey, guys," Clarke smiled and Miller moved to let her sit. 

"Thanks, I'm totally third wheeling right now. Raven and Wells are the perfect example of annoying couple. I never should have introduced them. Figures my two best friends would prefer each other," she laughed and Miller and Murphy did too. 

Bellamy didn't know what to do. Be nice, he thought. She didn't look at him and he hadn't greeted her. Off to a great start, he sighed internally. 

She was telling Miller about a new project she was working on that would be in a new exhibition in a local gallery by the end of the month and Bellamy tried to show her that was interested by leaning forward and looking at her. 

He knew he should ask her a question, anything to start conversation. 

"Where's O?" He said. 

She looked surprised that he had spoken and then stuttered, "Um, she's... Out? With friends?" 

Bellamy frowned at this but he was graced from responding by Clarke sighing and looking to her friends across the bar. 

"I should probably head back to the life of the third wheel. It was great running into you guys," 

She got up and pulled her shirt over her hands before waving a little awkwardly goodbye. 

"Before I forget," Miller asked as she turned to walk away. She turned back expectantly. 

"Are we still on for next week?"

"Oh completely! Murphy, you're welcome as well," she smiled and then shuffled back to her friends. 

"On for what?" Bellamy asked, looking confused between his two friends. 

"We are making friends with your girlfriend. Pity you aren't invited," Murphy smirked. 

"When did this happen?" Bellamy stuttered. 

"Ha! He didn't deny it!"

"Shut up Murphy," 

"Mutual friend. You remember Monty right? He and Clarke went to the same high school." Miller said, blushing a little. 

"So what is happening? And how is Murphy invited?" 

They laughed, but didn't answer. Miller patted him on the back but nothing about Clarke was said for the rest of the evening.


	4. For the Longest Time

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So the beginning is sort of the last Chapter from Clarke's perspective but only to a point. Hope you enjoy! :D 
> 
> This is inspired by The Loved Ones by Sanders Bohlke.

The third time Clarke had Jumped, she had killed her ex-boyfriend, although he hadn't been that when she killed him. In fact, they hadn't even met. Finn became the unpleasant memory that only she remembered and she didn't mind that part, but his face had followed her for days afterwards, blaming her for replacing him in a time that wasn't her own. She had stayed a week in the foreign time and she had even gone to the funeral that was held at the Collins's home on the Friday of that week. She had met Raven there, under different circumstances than what had been before. Instead of the grudging animosity between them, when Clarke returned, she found that they were friends. She thought it strange that, in her mind, the last month had been bitter glances and snide comments. But now, Clarke was no longer the reason for Raven and Finn's breakup, at least not in the way she had been before. Clarke took the guilt like she took the any other, calmly compartmentalising. She told herself that she was a lonely wanderer who had, by chance, had the opportunity to experience two existences, and had happened to stumble out of the wrong one and into the right one. She just had to continue as if nothing had happened. The existences she had known before were dreams, and Jumping was her waking up. 

The third Jump had been the last to date and had been what had finalised the move out of her mom and Kane's house and into the apartment. Raven, Octavia and Wells had helped her unpack and to recreate her life in the shabby apartment. Two months had past and she felt settled and as if she was no longer dreaming, and if she was, this wasn't a dream she particularly wished to wake up from. The headaches had stopped, and with them the threat of Jumping ended. 

Despite this, some days she was more than happy to be alone and detached. Two months of happiness had done little to calm the dark clouded dreams each night. So when one Saturday she decided that one night alone would be a good idea, she was annoyed to find Raven knocking on her door. 

"Took you long enough! Happy Saturday night!" She yelled, shoving past Clarke once she had opened the door. Seeing the pile of blankets and collection of unwashed plates and mugs on the coffee table, Raven's grin broke and she frowned at Clarke, who despite feeling as if she should consider looking sheepish, had crossed her arms and scowled. 

"You, my friend, are disgusting. How long have you been in here? You could have at least opened the curtains or something. It feels like a bomb shelter in here," 

She moved around, opening the curtains, letting in a little of the bleak light outside, before grinning broadly and looking at Clarke. 

"We are going out," 

"No, no, no, no, no," Clarke chanted while slumping to the couch. "Today I am a hermit. I'm not going out. Not if I was paid," she paused. "Maybe if I was paid. What are you offering?" She peered up at Raven who was glaring with her hands resting on her hips. 

"I will buy the first round," 

"Then I might consider coming,"

"Two rounds if it gets you out of the house," Raven laughed and pulled Clarke off the couch. 

"Get up, get dressed and wear something other than black," 

"Is that the same leather jacket you wore all week?" 

"Touché. Wear what you like then," she sighed. "Just make it nice! No sweatpants! Wells is coming too. Would Octavia want to come?"

Clarke exhaled. "She's on a date. With Lincoln," 

Raven's face contorted into a laugh, "You set her up with your cousin?" 

"I set no one up," Clarke protested. 

"Like you didn't set me and Wells up?"

"Again, didn't set anyone up! I just introduced you and Wells and I did the same with Lincoln and Octavia. I just thought they would get along. I didn't see dating as the objective." 

"But you did set them up?" 

"I deny everything," Clarke yelled into a pillow that she had pulled against her face. 

"Stop moping and just get ready," Raven said, pushing her into her room. "We're leaving in an hour," 

"Would you change your mind if I said I was tired?" 

"Get your ass ready, or I swear to god..."

Clarke sighed and stumbled to her closet, "I'm going, I'm going." 

XXX

"You wore black," Wells sighed when he arrived, "Raven said she wouldn't allow you to wear black," 

Clarke twirled, "It's black or I don't go out," 

"Let's just go," Raven said, grabbing Wells's arm and pulling him after her. 

"Where are you taking me," Clarke asked, realising she had no idea. 

"Grounders, obviously," Raven grinned. 

Grounders was a block away from the apartment, so they walked and Clarke found that she was a little bit happy that she had decided to go out. Although 'decided' was not necessarily the word that she would have chosen. 

The trio turned the corner and Clarke felt her cellphone vibrate in her coat pocket. Block letters on the screen showed the number and her mother's name flashed. 

"Let's get inside. I'm freezing," Raven moaned. 

"I've got to get this," 

She didn't want to talk to her mother right now, but if she avoided the call, there would be more calls coming. Raven nodded and pulled Wells who laughed at something Raven whispered in his ear. 

Clarke began to pace when she answered the call. 

"Clarke, honey, it's your mom," 

"I have caller ID, mom," Clarke said, "Why are you calling?"

"Your psychologist hasn't seen you in weeks. We are worried," 

Clarke's jaw clenched. 

"I don't think I need to go anymore," 

She could hear her mom breathing on the other end. 

"Have the nightmares stopped,"

Clarke paused, "Yes," 

"Don't lie to me, Clarke, please," her mom's voice softened. "I'm trying to do what I can but I can't help you if you won't talk to me. Why haven't you called me more often?"

"I moved out for a reason,"

"Clarke," her mother sighed, "Please, just go to your appointments," 

Clarke frowned and she took a deep breath. 

"It didn't help before. It won't help now,"

"You need to talk about these things Clarke. If you won't go to your appointments, at least talk to me. Just don't bottle these things up," 

"I've got to go, mom. Raven and Wells are waiting."

Abby sighed and then her tone shifted again. "Have fun. We must talk soon. Can I call tomorrow?"

"Sure," Clarke mumbled. 

"Love you," her mom said. 

"You too," she said back, before hanging up. She took another deep breath. 

Walking into Grounders, she plastered a smile on her face. It quickly turned real when she saw Raven and Wells. She was okay. She didn't need a psychologist. She was okay. She just needed to stay that way. 

XXX 

"Why don't you just be nice," Raven whined. 

"I've tried," Clarke sighed, before leaning back on Raven's outstretched legs. It was about three in the morning and Raven and Clarke were collapsed on the couch. Wells had gone home which Clarke was glad about. It meant it was only Raven who was pushing the Bellamy thing. 

"He's the one who hates me," 

"Why though? What did you do? Besides set his sister up," 

"I didn't-"

Raven burst into giggles but those trailed off and she looked seriously at Clarke. 

"Invite him to the thing!" She gesticulated and repeated, "you know, the thing," 

"It's supposed to be a small night in, nothing exciting at all!" 

"Do it!" Raven yelled. 

"Shh," Clarke giggled, "Bellamy will kill us if you make too much noise! You know how he is about his sleep," 

"Do it!" Raven yelled louder. 

"Raven!" Clarke hissed but when Raven started giggling, she did too. 

The giggling was broken by a slap on the door. 

"Told you," she sighed. She clamoured up and swung open the door. Bellamy stood in the doorway, frowning sleepily. 

"Keep it down, please," he growled. 

Raven shot up and smiled, "Hello, Sleeping Beauty," she said before collapsing into giggles. "Get it? Because he's pretty and he's sleeping?"

"Got it Raven," Clarke said, blushing for her friend. 

"One too many?" His mouth flicked in a half smile. 

"Definitely," Clarke shrugged. "I'll try to keep quiet," 

"Thanks, princess," he said, softer than usual. 

"Hey," Raven mumbled, "Sleeping Beauty?"

"Yes Raven?" He rubbed his eyes and yawned. 

"Clarke was going to text you but you're here now. She wants you to come to the thing." She giggled. "There will be people and Clarke will be there coz it's here!" She pointed at Clarke and grinned. 

Clarke could feel herself burning up. 

"Yep, one too many," she mumbled. "You should come though, Bellamy. If you want. It's on Saturday." She said, as if she had forced it out. He grinned and nodded. 

"Okay," 

"Now leave," Clarke smiled, "Before Raven asks you to join the sleepover or something ridiculous," 

"Goodnight, princess," he said and it almost sounded like endearment. 

XXX

Raven woke up with a headache, Clarke could tell. 

"Holy shit," she moaned. "Bad decisions were made. Should have stopped at two rounds," 

"Bad decisions is an understatement," Clarke snapped. "Now Bellamy is coming on Saturday and Jasper will never let me hear the end of it."

Raven moaned again, "I'm sorry,"

"Not a good enough apology," Clarke smiled, passing her a cup of coffee. 

"Shh," 

"Nope, you didn't keep quiet last night so I won't today," 

"Have mercy, Clarke," she whined. 

There was a knock on the door and Octavia swung in, grinning. 

"Good morning,"

Raven groaned. 

"My night was fantastic, seems like Raven's was too," 

Clarke sighed, "I came off as a total idiot in front of your brother covering for you!" 

"What do you care? Besides, you set me and Lincoln up," 

"I didn't set you guys up!"

"Told you, you did," Raven mumbled. 

Clarke couldn't help but laugh which ended when she cringed at the pang of pain that ran through her temples. 

"Finally," Raven growled, "I hate being the only on with a hangover," 

It wasn't a hangover, Clarke knew that much but she smiled at Raven and excused herself. She could feel the pain move from her temples into her shoulders and down her arms. And then down her body. She needed to breath. To stay. She didn't need this now. She didn't want this now. It was irrelevant, however, and the pangs synchronised across her body. Clarke Jumped for the fourth time.


	5. Changes

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the late update, I've been away for the last few weeks so it's been a little crazy. I hope you enjoy the next one. It's a little shorter but I will update later this week. I hope you enjoy! 
> 
> This chapter is inspired by Blood by Algiers and Please Speak Well Of Me by The Weepies.

At first it seemed as if nothing had changed. Clarke blinked once. She blinked twice. It was the same built in cupboard, the same alcove in the bedroom wall and the same wooden window frame. It was the same yellow paint and two white shelves. But when the pain stopped, she blinked once more and saw that it was a different layout to her room, a single bed instead of a double and there were pictures she had never seen before above the headboard. It was tidier than her room had ever been. She also noticed after a moment that it wasn’t her apartment. There were two windows instead of one and the view was different, the same alleyway behind the art gallery that she could see from her window, but shifted a little to the right. 

She gave it a moment to feel less disoriented and then she decided that she would have to find out whose life she had replaced. The sickening curiosity propelled her out of the room.

She slowly opened the door to reveal a stuffy livingroom. There was a calendar of vintage cars on the fridge in the kitchenette that had APRIL in black block letters. Four months before she had moved into the building. She swallowed and moved around tentatively. She didn’t need to get arrested, or caught at all really. She looked again, a part of her hoping to see a waxen body on the yellowing couch. 

Usually, she watched them drop, watched as their eyes turned blank after a millisecond of seeing the light. She watched them drop like apples, quick and final, complete with the thump onto the ground, like a closing of a book, the ending of their story. 

She hated this hunt for the dead.

Moving to another door that in her apartment led to her makeshift studio that was too small for the canvases, she inched it open and couldn’t help but release a sigh of relief when she was greeted by a huddled body of a dead elderly man who looked to have been reading when he had been replaced by a blond woman in this time.  
The relief turned to sadness when Clarke scanned the room, her gaze meeting photographs of children and grandchildren, but the old man was in most of them and smiling. Clarke told herself that at least he had lived. 

That thought shifted to her wondering if anyone would check on the man anytime soon. Closing the door behind her, she winced when her stomach growled. She swore and then looked at the fridge. How much food would a dead man need? 

She pulled out a Tupperware with what seemed to be leftover roast chicken and vegetables. Eating for one left a substantial meal for later. Clarke felt a little bad as she wolfed the food down but she felt better when the sinking growls in her stomach stopped. 

Clarke wondered when Jumping had become this, the swift death that she blocked from memory. She couldn’t allow then to hurt her, or else she would break. But being brittle, she knew, would allow her to break more easily. 

She was still hungry, she thought, and perhaps the sinking feeling would leave if she settled her stomach with more food. She ate two apples from the bowl of fruit on the table and sat cross legged on the floor, staring at the calendar. 

She was happy when the headaches returned after how long she didn’t know. But it wasn’t that long and a short trip was a good trip. The pain and disorientation began again and she swallowed her nausea when she found herself in the corridor of her apartment building.

She sat there for a while, enjoying the feeling of the cold linoleum floor, not wanting to leave the safety of the bubble where everything was still that same that it had been that morning. Crouching, she thought quickly about how she should act to the small and big changes. Deciding that no amount of preparation could help, she rose and walked to her door. 

Nothing looked different. 

She clicked the handle down and it didn’t open. Clarke swore. She hoped that in this reality, she had thought to give her spare key to the Blake’s.  
She rapped on their door, desperate to just be home. The door opened and a short girl with frizzy dark hair smiled. 

“Hey Clarke, what’s up?”

“Um, hey. Look, I’m looking for Octavia, or even Bellamy?” Clarke mumbled, trying to look past the woman into the apartment. 

The furniture was different.

The Blake’s didn’t live here. 

The woman smiled kindly, “You might want to try their apartment,”

Clarke exhaled in relief and the woman frowned a little at Clarke’s clear panic. 

“Are you okay?”

“Fine, fine,” Clarke mumbled. She needed to find out where they lived. “Weird that I forgot where they lived because they’re my…” she paused. She just needed this woman to give her a little clue about where they lived. 

“Your neighbours, yeah. Octavia is out with Lincoln but I’m sure Bellamy’s in. 

Clarke nodded, “Thanks again. Sorry for the confusion.”

“Oh, it’s fine, just…um…” She blushed, “Tell Jaspar I say hi or whatever,” 

“Sure,”

Clarke frowned at the doors next to hers and she quickly chose the one that the elderly gentleman had lived in. made sense, if this apartment had opened up, the Blake’s would have moved in earlier. This made them her neighbours. 

She paused before knocking. She heard the click of the lock and the door flicked open. Bellamy smiled at her and stood aside to let her in.

“Morning, princess, what can I do for you?”

He was being too polite. “Are you mocking me?” Clarke snapped.

His eyes widened and Clarke sighed, “Sorry, strange morning,”

“You should tell me about it,”

Clarke scoffed, “Yeah, okay. I just need my spare key,”

Bellamy moved to a draw in the kitchen and pulled out the key. 

“Thanks,” she moved to snatch it from his fist but he caught her hand in his. 

“Clarke, are you okay?”

“Totally fine, Bellamy.”

“You haven’t called me that in months,”

“I’ve started to call you asshole to your face now?” she gasped sarcastically. 

Bellamy laughed, “Funny, but seriously. You’ve only called me Bell, unless you’re mad. Are you sure you’re okay? Your mom called to ask whether you’ve gone to your psychologist.”

She tried to flick her hand out of his grasp but he held her. “Why would she call you about that?”

Bellamy looked hurt, “Clarke, you know you can talk to me.”

“Okay,” Clarke sighed. “Now please let me go,”

Bellamy laughed and let her hand go, but not before pulling her against his chest. 

He was too polite, too friendly.

“I’ve got to go. I need to shower.”

“Okay,” he smiled crookedly before leaning in and kissing her.

Clarke went numb.

“You must tell me about your weird morning tonight at dinner,” 

Clarke nodded and then walked out dazed. He closed the door behind her and Clarke could feel her eyes wide in her skull.

Her and Bellamy.

“Well, shit,” she mumbled.


	6. New

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to everyone who is reading this, leaving kudos and commenting. I really love your support. This chapter is also short but the next one should be up in a day or two.

"Clarke? Everything alright?" 

The frizzy haired woman who had spoken to her earlier peered worried from her doorway at the stunned Clarke who hadn't moved in the corridor since leaving the Blake's apartment.

"I'm dating Bellamy,"

The woman laughed. "Yeah, I know. You guys have been dating for almost as long as I've lived her. So I guess that means almost as long as you've been here too." 

Clarke laughed too, humourless and broken. 

"Sorry, I'm a little frazzled this morning. Didn't sleep well." 

"Don't worry about it. You don't work Sunday's right? You should get some rest." 

Clarke nodded, "I will probably do that," 

The woman smiled and watched her as she opened her door and Clarke nodded once more when she stepped into her apartment. 

"Thanks," 

The woman smiled again and Clarke closed the door. She could hear the solid click of the woman's door closing after her own and she took a deep breath. 

Her apartment looked cleaner than what it had the morning she had left. The couch was even and the curtains open, filtering in the morning light. 

"Shit," she repeated, falling onto the couch. The Clarke of this lifetime was dumber than she had ever been. Bellamy? Of all people she could have imagined finding herself with, he was the last. 

What she needed was a way to find out what happened. Perhaps Raven would help. She would probably be the most likely to excuse any weirdness. 

She picked up her phone and scrolled through her contacts until she found Ravens name, the black letters were like a balm. She tapped it and the first tones rang. Then she heard the phone ring. 

"What the fuck Clarke? I'm right here! Way to be inconsiderate about a hangover!" 

Raven stumbled out, her ponytail half up and her eyes black. 

Clarke couldn't help but smile in relief, "Thank god!" 

Raven snorted and moved to the fridge. "I need something fried. Do you have any leftover anything?"

She settled on the milk carton and she chugged for a few seconds before looking confused at Clarke. "You look like I feel," 

"Oh no, you look how you feel. I'm sure of it." 

"Still have the humour," she paused, "Then whatever's happening can't be that bad. What's up?"

Clarke's face scrunched, "Neighbour lady who's into Jasper?" 

"Maya and he's totally into her too," Raven frowned, "Are you still drunk? You love Maya," 

Clarke smiled and hoped she was convincing, "Probably, I just feel like I've hit a blank," 

Raven's eyes widened. "Shit, is it the other thing?" 

"What other thing?" 

"You know..." Raven trailed. 

"No, not really," 

Raven sighed, finally closing the fridge door. She moved and sat down next to Clarke. 

"Ok, so it's still weird for me to say out loud..."

"Bellamy?" Clarke choked out. 

Raven cackled, "That's old news, we all knew about that." She paused before cocking her head and frowning, "But did you?" 

"Oh yeah," Clarke squeaked. Usually she was so much better at lying but this was just different. She never came back to find herself with someone. She usually found herself more isolated. 

"Clarke, are you sure it's not-"

"-Fine. I'm totally fine. Probably still the tequila or whatever..." She trailed off and smiled. 

Raven sighed, "OK stop the pretending. I'm just going to say it. Did you Jump?" 

"Jump? What-"

"Shit, didn't I know where you came from?" 

Clarke gaped. 

"Well I know. So does Wells. You told him the day after you... You know... Your dad..." Raven shrugged. 

This Clarke was definitely dumber than she had ever been. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading! I would love to hear what all you lovely humans who are reading this think is going to happen. I have something big planned for the next two chapters that I hope you'll all like... Let me know what you're enjoying (and even what you're not) and what you would like to see in the story. Until next time!


	7. Disorientation

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is a new chapter. I hope you like it and let me know what you think :) It's part one of two coming today so its a little (actually very) short. I only seem to be able to write short chapters lately... Part two will be out later today... I can't promise that it will be long but it will definitely be longer than this...

Raven groaned, “You just thought it was a good idea to tell us. You needed the support so sue me for thinking that it was a good idea!”

Clarke exhaled. It was not as if she didn’t want Raven or Wells to know, she just didn’t like the idea of them knowing. It felt as if she had put out everything that she was ashamed of and let them look at it as if it were one of her paintings. 

“And,” Clarke paused, “Finn?”

“That’s when you told me. I mean obviously it was a little while after but you did and I was pissed for a while but I got over it after Wells told me about your dad. No one would purposely kill their parent, well not one like your dad,” she smiled supportively and then sighed. 

“Look Clarke, I understand that you’re a lot more private than the Clarke I know, but the Clarke I know hasn’t Jumped in months and she’s happy. She has friends who support her, a boyfriend who adores her and she even speaks to her mom. This could be your chance to actually be happy. I mean, technically you are the same person.” She smiled again and Clarke grimaced back. 

“I just…” Clarke trailed off, “I just don’t understand. Why Bellamy of all people?”

Raven frowned, “Why not? He’s loyal, he’s attentive, a little moody I’ll give you, but he would do anything for you Clarke. How is that a bad thing? He’s also not that bad to look at…” she winked suggestively and Clarke had to smile half-heartedly too. 

“I get that, it’s just where I come from, we don’t really get on and there’s probably a reason for it. Maybe the other Clarke was the one for him. Not me.”

“Hate to break it to you, but you seem the same to me. Although the Clarke we had  
here actually smiled once or twice.”

“Haha,” Clarke deadpanned. 

“Just give it a chance to settle, and then make up your mind. But if my opinion counts for anything, I haven’t seen you happier than when you are around him.”

“I need a shower. I have old man smell all over me,”

“You can’t avoid this, Clarke. Just think about it, kay?”

Clarke nodded and lifted herself off the couch. 

Raven smiled and watched her leave. Once Clarke had closed her bathroom door, she flicked open her phone and clicked Octavia’s contact name. 

“Rae, I hope that this is a good enough reason to be waking me up,”

“We may or may not have a little issue on the Bellarke front,”

“What did he do now?”

Raven sighed and looked carefully at the closed door. 

“It’s not Bellamy, O. It’s Clarke,”

“Shit, why? What’s happening?” 

“She Jumped and she wasn’t dating Bell and she’s showering but she is obviously weirded out about it. She doesn’t know who Maya is.”

“Oh. Yeah, no. That’s not good…”

“I need you down here now.”

“On my way,”

Raven glanced once more at the door. 

“Oh and O?”

“Yeah?”

“She sort of doesn’t know that you know,”

“Fuck,”

“Yep, so try and be cool when you get here,”

“I’m always cool,”

“Sure you are. Okay, I’ve got to call Wells too. See you soon,”


	8. Stories

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> New chapter!

Octavia arrived like a storm, slamming the door open and announcing her presence with a frown. 

"Where is she?" 

Raven leapt off the couch and shushed Octavia with a frown. 

"Shut it! She cannot hear you! You don't know okay?" 

Octavia groaned and sat down. "I know, I'm just pissed how my brother's relationship is currently in trouble!" 

"Keep it down please!" Raven sighed. 

"Fine, I won't say a word. What's my reason for being here again?" 

"Do you need a reason?" Clarke asked, leaning against the doorframe with a frown stretched across her forehead. 

"Clarke, hey! Um... I wanted to thank you for setting me up with Lincoln," 

"Sure," Clarke responded, walking to her two friends. 

"Hey, got here as soon as I could," Wells practically yelled as he violently swung the door open. 

"Did we have something planned this morning or..." Clarke said, her frown deepening. 

"Um no... We..." Raven stuttered and Octavia and Wells looked desperately at her. 

"Does O also know?" Clarke quivered, sounding more pathetic than she wanted to, her eyes widening. 

"Yes!" Octavia blurted out. "Didn't mean to freak you out Clarke-of-the-past, but yeah I do know. Why didn't you tell her?" She spat at Raven. 

"Bellamy doesn't know and I didn't want her to think he did. I don't think now is the right time for him to find out," 

Octavia nodded and sighed before looking at Wells who was sheepishly looking at the three woman. 

"Am I needed?" 

Clarke smiled at her friend and at her other two. 

"I appreciate the whole protecting Bellamy thing but I really can't deal with this feeling out of place thing. As Raven said, I'm basically the exact same Clarke as before, only not necessarily with her memories. What I need from all of you, is a run down of what exactly happened between me and Bellamy. And it wouldn't hurt to add a few more details while you're at it." 

The trio looked at each other before Octavia sighed, "I guess I can start," 

She rolled her eyes before looking at Clarke and smiling, "Well when you moved her, we had already moved in next door." 

XXX

"Are you also new here," a woman with dark frizzy hair smiled at Clarke who was pulling in her last box. 

"Yep, I'm Clarke," 

"Maya. I'm moving in across from you," 

Clarke smiled at Maya who disappeared into her apartment, leaving Clarke to struggle to continue to heave the box into her apartment. 

"Do you need help with that?" 

Clarke was startled for a moment by the deep voice and she glanced up to dark eyes and a smirk. 

"Are you offering?"

"Wouldn't dream of not," 

Clarke returned the smirk and gestured for the man to continue the mission of the box. 

He moved to the box and rolled up his sleeves. Clarke watched him shuffle before picking up the box with apparent ease. 

"You make me look bad," she chuckled. 

"Oh no trust me, it's harder than it looks. I'm only trying to impress you. Where do you want it?" 

"Just inside the apartment would be amazing," 

Another dark haired woman left the apartment the the man had come out of and Clarke's stomach dropped. 

"Bell, we have to go soon! We're meeting Jasper and Monty in ten minutes!" 

Bell, the man, frowned at the woman, who Clarke decided was sickeningly pretty, before looking back at Clarke. 

"Sorry, didn't realise you had a-" Clarke began,

"-sister? Yeah they're the worst," he chuckled, low and throaty.

"Shut it, Bellamy," his sister laughed. "I'm Octavia, and this is Bellamy, or has he already introduced himself," 

Bellamy blushed and awkwardly looked at Clarke. 

"Great to meet you," Clarke smiled, looking at Bellamy with the strange feeling as if she was dared to look away. 

"You're staring Princess," his deep voice chuckled again. 

"If I was, you were," 

"Undoubtably," 

"Ah stop the flirting! You didn't even help our other new neighbour!" 

Maya waved kindly when she came out of her apartment and everyone was introduced. 

"Do you guys want to come with us?" Octavia asked, grinning wolfishly. "God knows Bellamy needs to start bringing friends to these things. You guys could be his plus two." 

"I have Murphy and Miller, O" 

"They don't count, not really. Murphy's a sassy bitch and Miller's just quiet. And they're not coming today are they? Please come!"

Maya accepted and Clarke did too. 

XXX

"Ok that's great, so we didn't have the shitty meeting that I remember." Clarke sighed,

"Didn't mean you guys got together straight off the bat, it took a while," Wells exhaled, 

"It was quite frustrating. You guys are perfect for one another," Octavia winked. 

Clarke shrugged, "So how did that happen," 

"Long story," Raven laughed.


	9. Truth

Clarke liked meeting Bellamy and Octavia's friends and soon it became the regular crowd that met at Grounders at every opportunity the group got. Raven and Wells and Murphy and Miller also joined the group and soon Clarke found for the first time that she was surrounded by a crowd of people that she loved. 

Bellamy was an enigma. He was quiet and moody, something that she hated, but at the same time he was a figure that the group circled at looked to as the dominant presence. He was the one that Clarke looked forward to seeing most, despite trying to think differently. She couldn't like someone, it was bad enough that she had surrounded herself with people, so many people, that she threatened to leave at any moment. 

She didn't want the pangs of pain to take them away from her, to plunge her into an existence that she didn't recognise by versions of these people that she wouldn't recognise or even know. 

She had told Raven and Wells, which helped. But whenever they saw her for the first time, they would look her over once, questions hanging from their eyes. Was she the Clarke she was yesterday?

Bellamy made it worse. She didn't know if I'm another life she would want to choose him, but every part of her in this one did. 

After flirting in the corridor, it had been replaced by the sort of friendship that was dependent on the fact that they had mutual friends. A warm acquaintance that was made up of awkward teasing and silent stares. 

She didn't know what made her decide to tell Octavia about the Jumping. Perhaps it was because she was the next best thing to Bellamy. She didn't have any reason to tell him. 

The day Octavia arrived at Grounders, perky and smiling, Clarke wondered if it was the best choice. Would it change anything? Telling Wells and Raven hadn't. 

"Clarke!" Octavia yelled, seeing her alone in the corner. 

"Is it just us tonight?" She smiled and half hugged Clarke as she sat down on the stool next to her. 

"Yeah, there's actually a reason I called you here," 

Octavia smiled wolfishly, "So you finally need my help to move out of the awkward flirting stage with my brother?" 

Clarke's heart jump started and she could feel it in her ears, "What? No! We don't flirt! He doesn't even like me..." She trailed off, beginning to mumble. 

Octavia sighed, "This is like middle school all over again. You two are pathetic!" 

Clarke mumbled something she thought was basically coherent but Octavia just sighed again and looked amused at her friend. 

"So what did you want to talk about?" 

"Nothing too drastic, it's just something that I thought we were close enough that I could tell you," 

"Ok, sure. What is it?" 

Clarke took a deep breath. Even after telling Raven and Wells, she wasn't sure what the best way of doing this was. Should she blurt it out? Raven had thought she was joking and even started planning the 'awesome graphic novel' that they could write together on the subject. Wells's face had convinced her. Wells wasn't here right now, and Clarke doubted that he would have the same effect on Octavia. 

"I have a condition," 

"Oh no! Are you okay?" Octavia's eyes widened with the appropriate amount of concern. 

"I'm alright. It's not fatal or whatever. I'm not even sure it has anything to do with my health." 

"Clarke, have you been going to your psychologist?" 

Clarke had to start laughing, a loud cackle that caused Octavia to smile too. 

Between laughs, Clarke tried to explain, "Its amazing how it always goes back to that. I haven't been going because of what I'm about to tell you. If I spoke about this to anyone else, they probably won't believe me. Hell, you probably won't either. It's a miracle anyone has." 

Octavia frowned and leaned forward, "What is it, Clarke?" 

"I have this condition, where I Jump," 

"Like on a trampoline?" Octavia's mouth twitched. "Sorry, go on," 

"I Jump time zones, O" 

"Like your sleep patterns or what? I'm confused." 

"I Jump through time and land up in different time realities or whatever. I'm not sure exactly how it works. But I've been to three."

"Oh that's cool," Octavia frowned, her voice small. 

"Not really. Wherever I go, I have to replace someone who lives there, or at least that's how I understand it. At most I'm there for a few days and I can't control where I go. I've killed my dad and Finn," 

"Raven's ex?" 

"Mine too," 

"Oh ok," 

Clarke's brow knitted and she looked at the woman in front of her. "That's it? Do you believe me?" 

"I don't think you would joke about something like that, Clarke." 

"Well Raven thought I was pitching a comic book idea or something," 

"Admittedly it might be cool," Octavia smiled. 

"You've taken this really well," 

Octavia smiled, "I'm your friend. Besides, I've heard of some weird shit in my time. This is nothing. Ok it's something, but-"

"I get it, O," Clarke laughed. 

"I think we need some serious alcohol after that. First rounds on me, next is on you. That alright, you time-jumper person you?" 

"Too soon, O" Clarke smiled, knowing that she had made the right decision.


	10. Sight

Clarke rubbed her eyes before looking at her friends who were staring at her, wide eyed and lock jawed. 

"So I told you first," she muttered to Octavia, who nodded and then opened her mouth, unsure before closing it. 

"But it doesn't explain how I... How Bellamy and... How we..." 

"It was shortly after that that you guys got together actually," 

Raven smiled, "And still it felt like we all waited way to long for it to happen," 

XXX

Clarke hated the wide eyed concerned frowns that Octavia gave her whenever she walked into a room. Bellamy noticed it too, and Octavia's concern was matched by Bellamy's confusion. It continued like that for a month before Clarke sat Octavia down. She was rambling about something, worried words of whether Clarke was okay or not. 

"Listen O,"

"Shit! You Jumped!"

"No I didn't, not... That's not why I wanted to talk to you," 

She shuffled on the scratchy couch and looked at Octavia. 

"I am so thankful that you care so much but you have to tone down the whole..." She gestured broadly to Octavia. "This..."

Octavia frowned and nodded. "Sorry, it's just I don't know how to act. What if you have Jumped and I don't know and you're confused and disoriented and..." 

"O, it's fine. If I ever Jump, I'm going to need you to be the person to bitch slap me back into reality. You being worried isn't going to help me when I'm disoriented," 

Octavia nodded and opened her mouth to say something when the lock clicked and the door opened. 

Bellamy walked in, followed by a girl, light brown hair pulled back from her face but falling in waves over her shoulders. She smiled at something Bellamy said and then turned to the girls sitting on the couch. Her smile broadened.

"This must be Octavia," the girl walked further into the room and Octavia stood. 

"I'm sorry, I don't know you," she said, candidly, but warmly. 

"Octavia, this is Gina. I mentioned her a while ago. She works with me," Bellamy said, quietly hoping that his sister would remember. 

"Ah yes. Gina. You are the one my brother finally asked out." Octavia smiled, before glancing at Clarke. Bellamy's eyes flashed to her too but they quickly returned to Gina and his sister. 

Clarke felt as if she had been hit in the stomach and she could feel the shock bleed into her features. Of course Bellamy would date and bring girls home. But in that moment, Clarke wished for nothing more than to leave and try to fool herself that Bellamy was not looking fondly at this woman in his apartment, introducing her to Octavia and to Clarke. 

"I should go," she heard herself mutter, and she rose, and began to stumble out of the apartment. 

"Clarke, please stay!" Bellamy called. "We are all going down to Grounders. Come with us. Murphy said he might be there, and some of the others might come through too,"

Clarke looked at his eyes, the brown that she hated to see flick with a friendly smile. She smiled back, a watery smile that felt like it dripped off her face. 

"Not tonight, I've got... Work tomorrow and I have to be up early. If you see the others, tell them I say hi and to have a drink for me,"

She turned to Gina who smiled, "Lovely to meet you Gina," 

"You too,"

Clarke hated how sincere her smile was and how she walked to Bellamy and threaded her fingers through his in such a natural, comfortable way, as if she had done it so many times before. 

Clarke knew that she liked Bellamy, but it wasn't before the door closed behind her that she realised that perhaps it was a little more serious than what she had originally thought. 

XXX 

Everyone loved Gina and soon her and her smiles were with the group almost every weekend. 

Raven loved her and joked that Bellamy didn't deserve someone like her. He agreed and Gina blushed before kissing him lightly. Clarke looked away. 

Octavia would simply hold her hand and squeeze it under the table whenever the casual attention made Clarke squirm and Clarke would squeeze back. Octavia didn't say anything and Clarke wasn't sure how much she knew but she was glad that her friend was there. 

Bellamy had stopped looking at Clarke and started seeing Gina. And it hurt, it hurt like hell.


	11. Confrontations and Resolutions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry for being AWOL these last few months, Life just got crazy with exams and fun things like studying. I wasn't sure if I wanted to continue but I'm back now! I hope that this chapter makes it up a little for not updating and that you enjoy it.

Gina lasted longer than Murphy bet she would, longer than Monty and Jasper bet she would and even longer than what Clarke bet she would. She couldn’t help but hate that she didn’t hate Gina. She was funny and sarcastic, perfect for Bellamy and she bought him the Iliad for their two month anniversary. She was perfect, everything Bellamy needed. 

Clarke stopped coming over as much and she started saying less to Bellamy. It wasn’t as if she had said much before. She didn’t think he had noticed until one evening at Grounders where he pulled her aside with the same wide eyed frown that Octavia had. 

“What is going on Clarke?”

She blinked and started to laugh. “Seriously? You think something is wrong? I’m totally okay,” she smiled and giggled again, for good measure. She would show Bellamy Blake just how fine she was. 

“I know we haven’t spoken much since Gina started hanging out with us and I need to know why. I thought we were finally becoming friends.”

“Bellamy, we could never be friends. It’s just one of those things.” She pulled away from him, finding that he had backed her against a wall. 

“Gina will be wandering where you are,” she smiled, hoping that the smile oozed happiness and just how fucking fine she was. 

“Yeah, Gina…” Bellamy looked back to his girlfriend who was laughing with Raven, head thrown back. She saw bellamy looking and she smiled and waved. He returned the gestures and Clarke could not keep her scoff quiet.

Bellamy turned sharply and annoyed, “You see this is what I’m talking about! What do you have against Gina? She’s great and she’s funny. She’s a lot like you, you know if you smiled more,” his mouth tipped into a smirk before he saw Clarke’s narrowed eyes and he seemed to remember he was upset. 

“She tries really hard to get you to like her. The least you could do is actually say three words to her that aren’t ‘oh it’s you’,” 

Clarke sighed. Perhaps she hadn’t been as subtle as she had hoped. 

“Gina is great, Clarke,”

“You don’t have to convince me. Besides, stop worrying what I think. I’m not the one dating her. Why should my opinion matter?”

“Your opinion always matters!” Bellamy spat. Clarke was smiled a little before he ran his fingers through his hair and scowled at her. “You hurt Gina when you dismiss her. She just wants to be a part of this group,”

“I hurt Gina? What is this, third grade? I don’t have to like all your girlfriends Bellamy. God knows they come and go quicker than…” she stopped.

“So this isn’t about Gina. It’s about me,”

“I didn’t mean that Bell, I’m sorry,”

“Only Octavia can call me that. Not you. Never you,” 

Clarke clenched her jaw to try and lock in the tears. “You shouldn’t have come to talk to me. We were never friends. It was always too weird but I suppose it’s better than whatever bullshit this is.” She elbowed past him and grabbed her purse from the booth where everyone was sitting. Raven turned around to talk to Clarke and so did Gina. 

“Clarke, hey, where are you going,” Raven frowned and Gina looked at Bellamy before also frowning at Clarke. 

“Are you okay?” she asked, concerned.

“Yeah thanks, Gina. I’m just not feeling so well. I’m going to head home.” She put down the money she owed and waved goodbye to the rest who were sprawled across the booth. 

Gina frowned back at Bellamy again who was watching the door swing closed before he ran his fingers through his hair and swore.   
“I wonder what they were talking about. Bellamy looks pissed and Clarke didn't look like a hundred bucks either,” 

“Knowing them, god only knows what happened, although it was probably just a petty disagreement or something. I wouldn't worry,” Raven shrugged before taking a swig from her bottle.

“Clarke said ‘thanks’ to me,” Gina laughed, “I think I’m chipping away at her cold exterior!” she said jokingly. "I think she might be beginning to like me," 

“It’s Clarke, Gina,” Raven muttered. “If she said thanks, her exterior isn’t chipped. It was torn down.”

XXX

Clarke avoided Bellamy from that evening forward. She was never where he was and so she stopped frequenting Grounders with everyone else and simply saw everyone else during the week for lunch or coffee. She didn’t act any different, she smiled more but they were a touch insincere and they all tried to act similarly. It wasn’t until a week had passed that Bellamy came barreling into her apartment. 

“Enough!” he bellowed, shoving passed Clarke into her apartment. “You can’t avoid me forever. Octavia won’t say anything when I ask what the hell is going on and always says I have to come and speak to you. So speak, why are you avoiding me?”

Clarke blinked and she never thought she would wish to have the headaches. Come on! She yelled to herself, just Jump. Get out of here. 

When she didn’t answer, Bellamy started pacing. “You can’t avoid me forever. You need to come down to Grounders sometime and see us all. You are a part of this group Clarke and you can’t let the fact that you don’t like me-”

“-but I do like you and that’s the fucking problem!” Clarke yelled amidst her internal begging before everything fell silent and Bellamy’s eyes grew and his mouth slackened. 

“Why… um… Why would it... Why is it… Problem… why?” he muttered, looking at Clarke. 

“You know what, I’m actually getting ready to go out so I’m going to need you to leave,” she swallowed her words and then began to move towards the door to let him out. He blocked her way. 

“Answer my question Clarke.”

“I’m going to be honest here; I didn’t quite catch what it was,”

Bellamy sighed frustrated. “Why is it a problem?”

Clarke winced and she turned away. “I… it was just something I said. It doesn’t mean anything.”

“I know you Clarke, better than you think. You never say something you don’t mean.”

“Yes, well these were just words taken out of context, poorly constructed, interpreted badly.” 

Bellamy followed her, “Stop bullshitting me, Clarke. Answer me. Please,” he looked at her and all Clarke wanted to do was kiss him to shut him and his questions up. She took a haggard breath. 

“It’s nothing, just… I don’t know… I don’t understand…”

With every word he stepped closer before they were toe to toe and eye to eye. 

“Answer me," he muttered and looked into her eyes. 

“Fuck this,” Clarke hissed and she pulled him down onto her lips.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you liked that ending and that you enjoyed the chapter as a whole. Let me know what you think and feel free to Kudo, comment and otherwise just tell me what you think of the story so far and where I can improve and stuff like that! A very special thanks to everyone who has, you make writing this worthwhile. Until next chapter :)


	12. Advice

Bellamy blinked twice, his lips still parted and Clarke lifted her hands off his face and clenched her fists. 

"Oh," Bellamy huffed. 

"Oh?" Clarke whispered, taking a step back and sticking her fists to her sides. 

Bellamy didn't answer so Clarke continued to stare. 

"Now would be the time to answer," she said, softly and desperate. 

Bellamy twitched and he looked at Clarke for the first time. 

"You just... Shit, Gina!" He spun around and marched to the door but then spun around again to face Clarke. 

"Why?" 

Clarke frowned, "What do you mean why?"

"Why did you do that? Everything was going so well with Gina and now... And now..." He trailed off and looked at her. 

"I was finally getting over you and you had to just do that and then act as if it's okay!" 

Clarke huffed, "You are acting as if this it fault! Do you think I wanted to be the bitch that kissed another girl's boyfriend? And for the record, you totally kissed me back." She paused before smiling a little. "Getting over me? You liked me? And you didn't say that you were over me. Do-"

"Stop, Clarke." Bellamy shook his head and rubbed his eyes, "It's just that..." 

"It's just what?" 

"It's you," 

"What's that supposed to mean?" Clarke could hear her voice raising and her hands left their fists to cross against her chest. 

Bellamy shook his head again, "I can't do this right now, Clarke." 

He said her name like it was something sour he had to spit out and Clarke felt worse than when she had been silent and watching him, knowing he didn't know how she felt. 

He turned and left her apartment and Clarke watched the door swing shut before clicking closed. 

XXX 

"You did what!?" 

"Octavia, I need you to keep quiet. I'm telling you and Raven because I trust you but we are kind of in a bar where other people can hear us if you shout," Clarke hissed and Raven chuckled. 

"What's so funny?" Clarke accused, looking at her friend who was hunched over as she tried to hide her mirth. 

"It's just, I feel like Octavia reacted more surprised when you told her you kissed her brother than when you told her you were a time traveller." 

Octavia's mouth tipped a little and she shrugged. 

"Although I guess she should have seen this one coming. You have been pining for the last few months. We've all seen it. I think even Gina knows,"

"Crap!" Clarke slapped her forehead. "I didn't want to hurt anyone. I just... Wanted... I don't know. He kept asking me what was wrong and I didn't know what to say," 

"So you didn't say anything and used your mouth to do something else..." 

Octavia laughed and Raven leaned back into the booth. 

"You will need to talk eventually," 

"The last time we tried, I forced myself onto him," 

"Does it count as forcing yourself when technically he kissed you back?" 

Clarke groaned and slumped forward, "Do you think that there are job opportunities in Yemen? I just need to get as far away from here as possible," 

Raven rolled her eyes and Octavia awkwardly patted Clarke's shoulder. 

"You need to talk to him," 

"Or I could Jump! I need to learn to do this on command, damnit! Where's the new reality when you need one?" 

Octavia giggled uncomfortably and Raven sighed, "Just talk to him. Tell him what's going on in your head and ask what's going on in his. He wouldn't have kissed back if something wasn't going on, and you need to sort this out before Gina hates us all. She's a great person, Clarke, despite everything and she doesn't deserve a boyfriend who is pining after someone else, or another woman who hates her because she can't bring herself to talk to the guy she likes. Communication, my friend. Communication is key," 

"I second that!" Octavia said, before pulling Clarke up. "He's not going to pick up or return your texts. I love my brother but he tends to avoid difficult situations. Use my phone and use it now, don't let this go on longer than it should," 

Raven gave her a thumbs up and Octavia waved her to a quiet corner to speak before sitting back down. 

"I love Gina," Raven said as Clarke walked away, "But to be perfectly honest, I hope Bellamy comes to his senses and just gets together with Clarke already. It's been way to long, for both of them."


	13. Alone

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I wrote this chapter by looping Sweet Dispostion by the Temper Trap like nineteen times... I hope you enjoy it :) 
> 
> I feel like this fic is very Clarke- centric and, as much as I totally adore her, I feel like I need to have the rest of the gang incorporated somehow. Let me know who you would like to see in the fic and I will see what I can do. :D

"Hey this is Bellamy, can't get to the phone right now so... Yeah, you know what to do," 

"Bellamy, it's... Uh... It's me. Clarke. I'm using O's phone. Um so just wanted to say hi and that I think we should talk. Message me on my phone if you want to... You have my number I think. Otherwise, uh, ask O or Raven or anyone we mutually know. They all should have it. But I'm sure you have it already though. Yeah so... Call me, message me, whatever. It's Clarke by the way. Shit, I already mentioned that. Okay well, I'm hanging up now. Get back to me." 

Clarke hung up and cradled the phone in her hands, staring at the faded wallpaper of Grounders. She groaned and took a deep breath. She needed Bellamy to talk to her, even it was to simply say that he would never speak to her again. She turned to look at Raven and Octavia who were looking at her, waiting to see her reaction. She shrugged and they smiled supportively. 

"You can maybe ambush him at our apartment. He's seeing..." Octavia stopped. 

"He's seeing Gina tonight, isn't he?" 

Octavia grimaced, "Yeah, I'm sorry. I tried not to tell you." 

"It's fine. It's nothing I haven't experienced in the last few months." 

"Any trouble in paradise?" Raven quipped helpfully. 

"He doesn't say anything to me. I'm constantly monologue-ing about Lincoln so to be fair he doesn't get much say but... He has been unusually quiet," Octavia said, chewing her lip. 

"It's probably because it's his first real relationship in ages." Clarke sighed. 

"Probably, yeah," Raven said, before Octavia elbowed her. "I mean, no. No way. It's probably because..." She looked pointedly at Octavia for guidance. 

Clarke laughed, emptying her chest and her two friends frowned. "Thanks, you guys, but I don't need to be told that Bellamy is crazy about her. She's good for him. If I had to loose him, I would want it to be to someone like Gina. She is cool, even if she is with Bellamy." 

Octavia's phone lit up and Clarke leaned over to see the caller ID. 

"It's Lincoln, I should take this." 

Octavia answered the call with a sappy smile and Raven looked at her watch and then at the girls, "I promised Wells I would get back as quickly as possible. We haven't had much opportunity to be alone with his helping his dad with the company for the last month." 

Clarke nodded, "No problem. We will talk tomorrow."

Raven smiled apologetically and waved to the preoccupied Octavia. Clarke decided that it would be best to leave too. What better way to spend the evening than watching every single 90's rom-com she owned and eating hot chocolate powder from the tin. She waved to Octavia too, who simply laughed at the phone, putting her hand to her mouth and blushing. 

Clarke left, trudging heavy footed to her apartment and she nodded in acknowledgment to Maya who was returning as well. They walked up in silence and they smiled goodnight. 

Clarke tried to think about anything but dark curls and dark eyes and freckles and how close they had been to her just hours before. She shook her head as she locked the door behind her. 

"Clarke," 

A deep voice from behind her and she jumped into the door in fright. 

"Shit! Ow, dammit!" She yelled and the voice chuckled a little. 

"I'm sorry, I didn't want to scare you. I sort of used your spare key to get in. Looking back, it would have been easier just to knock when you got back." 

Clarke turned to see Bellamy standing, shadowed by the kitchenette, his hands resting on the table. 

"You're... Hi," she breathed. "I tried to call... I used Octavia's phone." 

"Yeah, I got your message. You're terrible over the phone by the way. Your voice raises like three octaves." 

Clarke laughed quietly and she flung her purse onto the counter. 

"I'm sorry I didn't call back, I thought it would be easier if we spoke in person." 

"Easier?" Clarke frowned, before smiling again. 

"Bad choice of words," he smiled too, and then ran his fingers through his hair. She loved it when he did that. Stop it, Clarke, she said before moving to the fridge. 

"Can I get you something to drink?" 

"I broke up with her Clarke," 

It was quiet, the fridge door open and Clarke wide eyed and open mouthed before she managed to squeak, "I think we have orange juice," 

Bellamy didn't react, he just looked at her, vulnerable and silent. Clarke closed the fridge and she managed to fully face Bellamy. 

"I broke up with Gina, and I don't know what is going on here but, I know that I'm probably a shitty person for thinking this, but I'd rather not know what's going on with us than be with anyone else." 

He paused and then took a deep breath, "I guess I didn't realise that until you kissed me and... Clarke, please say something. I can't handle you just staring at me." 

"So you're saying..." She trailed off. 

"I'm saying, I want to be with you, if you want to be with me. I sort of want to date you Clarke." 

"Sort of?" 

"Absolutely," 

"Better," she breathed through a growing smile. 

"Okay," he smiled too, before striding over to her and cupping her face in his hands. When he kissed her, Clarke knew she was glad that she couldn't control the Jumping and that she had somehow found herself in the exact timeline she wanted to be in.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and please feel free to comment on what you thought and to ask any questions and press the kudo button and, like, subscribe and things... ;)


	14. Solutions

"So that's it?" 

"Yep, pretty much. You didn't really tell us much. It's a miracle we could tell you what we did," Raven muttered as she looked at her nails, frowning absently. 

Octavia shrugged in agreement and Wells laughed, "We did get to experience first hand the sickening sight of seeing you argue and then smile all sappily at each other. Murphy even said that he preferred the arguing to the love stuff," 

"And then Emori happened, so the complaints didn't really last long," Raven smiled. 

Clarke swallowed, trying to keep her thoughts measured and calm. 

"How much... What did... Did he know?" 

Octavia and Wells looked at each other and then shook their heads,

"You wanted to tell him. You were going to do it. You were asking us how you should do it." 

Clarke nodded and then rested her chin on her hands. "I think I might need to break up with him. I can't pretend to have all these memories and feelings that I obviously don't have," 

"You are a terrible actress. I never did see a worse tree in all my life," 

"Ah cute," Raven dead panned, "Four year old Clarke couldn't be a tree. This is a little more important than a preschool play," 

Clarke knew that Wells had been trying to help by making a joke, but she knew he was right, "I can't pretend, I might not love him now, but I think I owe him enough not to lead him on," 

Octavia groaned, throwing her head back before she leapt off the couch and landed, kneeling before Clarke. "It would only be for a while, you can't break up with him when only yesterday you were obviously enamoured!" 

"Big word use, O,"

"It's not a big word, Jaha. You just don't-"

"Octavia is right, Clarke," Raven interrupted, and after she got a pointed glare from Octavia, she looked back at Clarke who sighed.

"So what would you have me do?"

"Lie,"

Clarke had to laugh at Octavia's face which was dead serious, as if she was yelling out battle plans. 

"Just lie, be the Clarke he remembers and lie your butt off. Kiss him, date him and make him happy. Then, we will all make a plan on how to break up with him that does not crush him, k?"

Octavia looked at her with grim eyes and Clarke sighed, nodding and then pushing herself off the couch. 

"Thanks, but think of a plan quickly," 

Raven grunted and smiled. "What are we here for?" 

Wells smiled at her too. They didn't say much else, and they left Clarke pretty soon after, leaving her to rest or whatever they thought she needed after a Jump. 

Clarke groaned when she shut the door behind Octavia, who had just hugged her tightly before moving straight across the hall. 

She needed to sleep, to think about what had happened. She usually came to a new time and found that she had lost something, not gained something. It was strange, it was alien and Clarke wasn't sure if she should be happy about it. The Bellamy in the stories obviously adored her. She shook her head. He didn't adore her, he adored the Clarke of this time, a strange being who was happier than Clarke herself had ever been. 

She threaded the chain into the lock and rested her forehead on the cold wood of the door. 

She could act, she was a crappy tree, there was little doubt about that, but she could play a girlfriend. Right? 

She lifted her head off of the door and took a deep breath. Almost as she did, the phone on the far kitchen wall rang and Clarke jumped a little at the noise. 

She hesitantly moved to answer it and her greeting came out as a squeak. Adjusting to this reality didn't need anymore stupid mistakes. She needed to be this time's Clarke as much as possible. Would this Clarke have squeaked into the phone? 

"Shit," she muttered. 

"I'm sorry?" The voice on the other end said, calm and confused. It was a soft voice. Clarke didn't recognise it. 

"Oh no! I'm sorry! I just... Knocked a cup over." She giggled nervously. 

"Alright, is this Miss Griffin speaking?"

"Yes?"

"You seem to have missed our last few attempts to get ahold of you."

"I was... Out..."

"No, no problem at all. I was just calling to see if we were still on to meet tomorrow at the clinic?" 

"The clinic..."

"Yes, Mount Weather Memorial?"

"Yes, yes. The clinic. I know. Can you confirm what time?"

The voice on the other end stalled before coughing politely. "Three o' clock, Miss Griffin. You know the drill, come down to the clinic and ask for the doctor. You should be sent straight though."

"Okay, sure no problem." 

"You do still want to go through with the tests?" The voice said, measured, growing softer. "You do want to stop Jumping?"

"I'm sorry, who is this?" Clarke said, panic rising in her throat. 

"Miss Griffin, it's Dr Tsing from Dr Wallace's rooms. Is everything alright?" 

"Peachy," Clarke hung up, realising after that she never said 'peachy' and it definitely wasn't something that the Clarke of this time would say either.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this chapter is the beginning of the main story arc. It's moving past just the Bellamy/Clarke situation and adding something else to this reality that Clarke has to deal with. I hope you enjoy what I have planned :)


	15. Mount Weather Memorial

Clarke sat in the waiting room of the stark white waiting room of Mount Weather Memorial Hospital, her fingers tapping her knee and her teeth grinding slightly as the woman at the reception desk flipped through papers, looking up to smile at Clarke every now and again. She would smile back, her lips folding back into what was probably more of a grimace. 

The white walls and furniture seemed to be undifferentiated from each other. It was all too clean, too perfect. Classical music played from speakers in the ceiling, which did more to aggravate her than to calm her down. A camera circled the room, slowly and omnisciently, and Clarke began to stare at it, wondering why it seemed to linger on her every time it circled the room. 

The door opened, and a woman in a white medical coat walked out, reading something from a clipboard. She saw Clarke when she looked up and she smiled, a crooked half smile. 

"Lovely to see you again, Ms Griffin, the doctor is expecting you," 

Clarke rose from her chair, pulling her skirt down when she stood. 

The woman kept the door open and allowed Clarke to move past her. 

"Third door on the right," 

Clarke nodded, "I remember," she said, her voice catching her in her throat. 

She walked into the room to see a crinkled man sitting at a desk. He smiled and looked at the woman, "Thank you, Doctor Tsing." 

The woman left, shutting the door behind her. 

"Clarke, lovely the to see you again."

"You too," Clarke said, tipping her mouth into a smile. 

A plaque on the desk had the neat letters, declaring the occupant of the desk as Dr. D Wallace. She had never heard of him before. 

"Let's get right to it then," he said, opening a folder and running his finger down the page before turning it. 

"Any new symptoms?"

"Symptoms?"

"Headaches, body aches, feeling lethargic, an increase of appetite..." He looked up expectantly and frowned, "Are you experiencing any of the symptoms we spoke about during the first session?" 

"No, I'm okay," 

"Alright, so the test results should come in in a few weeks but they might need some more blood samples." 

"Blood samples?" 

"For the tests," 

"I gathered,"

Dr. Wallace read something else on the page and then he closed the folder. 

"Clarke, I understand that this is hard for you, but as far as I was aware, you wanted to find a solution. I need you to tell me everything that can help," 

Clarke swallowed. Perhaps this reality would provide a cure, a way that she could stay. But she did not trust this pale doctor with his toothy smile and his clean wards. 

"Okay," she said simply, before taking a deep breath. 

"I haven't had any headaches, but I do feel slightly fuzzy, like I have a cold." 

Dr. Wallace scribbled something on the notepad next to him and began to flip the pen in his fingers. 

"What do you think that means?" 

"Pre-emptive of a Jump maybe?" 

Dr. Wallace scribbled that down too and he put his pen down. 

"I need you to start taking the medication I gave you. It will lower you energy levels a little, but it will probably be the best to prevent a Jump before we can get a more permanent solution."

Clarke nodded, "I think I've misplaced it,"

"I will write you a be script. But you need to take it every day. You can't skip a dose,"

"Alright," 

"Are you sure everything is okay, Clarke. You are a lot quieter than you were last time." 

Clarke smiled again, plastic and stiff. "Nothing is wrong, Dr. Wallace. You said you needed blood samples?"

"Yes, I will call Dr. Tsing back in. She will do that. Lovely seeing you again, Ms Griffin. Make another appointment at reception and we shall see each other then."


	16. Waiting

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I am officially terrible at updating timeously... I am on holiday now so I'm just going to update as often as possible to make up for it. Thanks to everyone who is reading and I hope you enjoy this chapter :)

Clarke was late. Octavia sat on the couch, staring at the door, her hands clasped as she hunched over her knees. 

She didn't like Dr. Wallace or the Tsing woman who kept calling and calling and calling. Octavia sighed when the next thirty seconds failed to produce Clarke and she slumped back against the couch. 

Dr. Wallace had come into the picture several weeks ago, maybe three, Octavia couldn't quite remember. She didn't know how he came to know about Clarke, she didn't know how he came to know about her condition, but he did and the Tsing woman had called for the first time, asking Clarke to come down to Mount Weather Memorial to talk to the doctor. Clarke had gone, curious but cautious and had come back, barging into the Blake's apartment. She had been grinning and Octavia couldn't quite remember seeing her that excited about anything for a long time after Bellamy. 

"They can help me!"

"Help you? You need help? What for?" 

"Come on, Octavia!" Clarke heaved and she dragged her to sit next to her on the couch. 

"Dr. Wallace is part of a program for genetic mutations, specifically in a person's metabolism. He thinks that my condition is based on that and that he and the other people involved could get a cure!" Clarke rambled, grinning widely and willing Octavia to do the same. 

"How did they know about you?" Octavia said, trying to sound enthusiastic but her voice was heavy with concern. 

"Remember a few months ago I went for the regular check up? They took some blood and there was a slight irregularity which is studied by Dr. Tsing, she works for Wallace. They recognised markers that were similar to someone else who said that they had a similar condition to me." Clarke had smiled, thankful and hopeful. She had stressed the words 'to me' and Octavia hadn't the heart to express concerns about this strange medical department who seemed to know everything about her friend and her condition. She had just smiled and said a soft, "That's wonderful, Clarke," before Bellamy had walked in and all mention of the doctor's appointment had ceased. 

Three appointments later though, they were no closer to understanding Clarke's condition or supplying a cure. Now, with this new Clarke, who was more suspicious than the previous Clarke had been, Octavia wondered if the tests would continue. Surely it wasn't just her getting the crazy vibes from Dr. Tsing? 

Octavia shifted again, looking at the clock on the wall and she watched the second hand slowly climb up from the six to the twelve. The closer it got, the slower the ticks seemed to come. 

Clarke was over an hour late. 

This new Clarke was strange. Octavia found that she missed the old Clarke, who had been serious but more open and who seemed to talk a lot more. This new Clarke was Clarke, that much was certain, but she was more closed off, more narrow eyed and straight lipped. And she didn't love Bellamy. 

Clarke hadn't said anything to Bellamy yet, but she had been avoiding him and he had noticed. He took it with wide eyes and a clenched jaw when Clarke would leave the room when he entered, without so much looking him in the eye. Octavia tried to stay out of it, it wasn't her story to tell and she knew that this Clarke would be unhappy if she tried to meddle. The old Clarke would have been the same. 

The seconds ticked and Octavia snapped up when there was a clink at the door. The handle dipped down and the door swung open and- it wasn't Clarke. A disgruntled Bellamy stood in the doorway and he stopped when he saw Octavia. 

"Where's Clarke?" He said, Octavia rising slowly from the couch. 

"She's not here, Bell," 

"She's never here! Where is she, Octavia?" His voice was rising. "I need to know what's going on! Why is she avoiding me? Everything was perfect a few days ago and suddenly it's like she's been replaced." As he spoke, he moved aggressively into the apartment, slamming the door behind him as he finished. 

"Where. Is. Clarke." He said, measured and glaring at Octavia. 

It wouldn't hurt to tell him the truth. Clarke needed to speak to him. At least that was her reasoning after she blurted out, "Mount Weather Memorial," 

Bellamy's eyes went from dark to concerned and his jaw loosened. "Mount Weather Memorial? The hospital? Why is Clarke at a hospital?"

Octavia didn't answer. Bellamy looked more worried because of it. 

"Is Clarke sick? Is this what this is all about? Is she okay?"

Octavia opened her mouth, hoping that some reasonable answer would come out when she was saved by the door opening again. This time, Clarke was the one to walk in and she looked surprised by the Blake welcoming committee on her apartment. 

"Hi..." She trailed off, avoiding Bellamy's gaze again. 

"Clarke?" He whispered, stepping closer. Clarke stepped back. 

"Clarke," he said again, staying where he was this time. "Are you alright?"

"Fine, totally fine," she said through narrow eyes pointed at Octavia. "Why? What did she tell you?"

"She," Octavia grunted, "Told Bellamy the truth." 

"You were at Mount Weather Memorial. Is everything alright?" 

"Fine, totally fine," Clarke repeated and she threw her keys onto the counter. "Look, it's not that I don't appreciate the concern but I really would just like to be alone right now,"

Octavia shrugged and made to leave but Bellamy squared his shoulders and glared at Clarke. 

"You know I would do anything to make you happy, but this one time, it's not going to happen. We need to talk. Actually talk, not this weird one sided shit that has been happening for the past few days. Ever since you came to collect the spare key, you've been acting strangely. Talk to me, Clarke." He sounded desperate and exasperated and slightly annoyed. Clarke looked him in the eye and she nodded. 

"I'm sorry, I really am. I'm just distracted. We can talk,"

Bellamy looked relieved, which then very quickly turned into a crooked smile. "Perfect, pick you up at seven then," 

"Wait, what?" Clarke spluttered. 

"We'll talk. Over dinner. We haven't been on a proper date in ages, it's about time we did something anyway," 

He grabbed Octavia's arm and steered her out of the apartment. 

"See you then, babe," he said winking. Clarke hated to admit it, but she could see the appeal and for the first time since arriving in this time, she could see quite clearly how easy it would be to fall for Bellamy Blake.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading this chapter and this fic in general. I love you all!!! Feel free to let me know what you think about this chapter and what is going to happen xx


	17. Date Night

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to send out a massive thank you to everyone who is reading this story and who is commenting and kudoing (is that even a word?), and bookmarking and supporting this story in every other way. You guys are literally the reason I continue to do this and I am so thankful for your support. I hope you enjoy this chapter. Xx

Clarke tried to not care as she placed dresses on her bed, laying them out to plan what she would wear this evening. She was happy to see that this Clarke too had a staple amount of black in her closet. She looked at the choices and bit back the thought that sang in her head: which one would Bellamy like best? 

Clarke tried to look as if she had just pulled the outfit on, that she didn't really try to look good but she spent a good hour and a half doing so. 

Her room was a mess, more clothes were on the floor and on the bed than they were in a closet, which was now just a line of empty hangers. She would tidy it later, she didn't feel like doing it now. She was too nervous. She shook her head.

Bellamy wanted to talk. Talk. An ugly word that filled your mouth when you said it. What would she say? She couldn't tell him the truth, it seemed too fantastical and she doubted having Octavia on her side would help. 

She should break up with him. 

It was the best option. The 'we should talk' talk always ended like that, at least for her. She should take full advantage of the situation and put an end to whatever was going on. She should be prepared to make a life in this time and she doubted that it was one that she wanted to create with a man who she couldn't remember not disliking. 

She put on the final touch of lipgloss and shrugged at her reflection in the mirror. 

She looked good. 

She looked like she was going on a date. 

There was a tap on her door that Clarke jumped at hearing. He was here. She glanced once more at the mess that she had created and grabbed her purse. She walked almost cautiously to the door and she opened it, to see Bellamy standing, smiling at her. His smile broadened when he saw her and he let out a soft "Wow". Clarke blushed and he offered her his arm. 

"I'm really glad you agreed to do this," he said once they had reached the elevator. 

"Agreed? That's an interesting word choice," Clarke rolled her eyes, but couldn't help but smile back at his. 

"You really look beautiful. I mean, you always do but-" 

"I get it Bellamy," Clarke said, feeling her face heat up, "You don't look so bad yourself."

Bellamy laughed and the elevator door opened. 

"So where are we going?" 

"Dinner. To talk," 

Clarke scrunched her nose and Bellamy chuckled. "It won't be so bad, princess. Just a regular conversation."

"Sure, okay, fine," Clarke muttered. 

XXX

Clarke found she hated this Bellamy more. The friendly Bellamy. The funny Bellamy. The Bellamy who obviously cared about her. She hated that she didn't hate Bellamy and she found herself wondering why she hadn't realised that he wasn't such an asshole before. 

The restaurant that he chose was small and charming and a place that Clarke would want to come back to. 

She hated that too. 

Bellamy stopped speaking once they got the menus and his brow furrowed when he looked at the food. Clarke giggled, "You look so serious!"

Bellamy laughed too, "You say that every time I order," 

"I do?" 

"Every time." 

They drifted back into silence. They both ordered and then Bellamy placed his hands on the table and looked at Clarke. 

"What's going on?"

Clarke sighed. She hated how direct the question was and how Bellamy looked worried more than annoyed. 

"Can we talk about it later? Let's just... Talk about other things right now." 

"Like what?"

Clarke cocked her head, "Anything," 

Bellamy shrugged, but conceded and Clarke hated how he wanted to make her happy. 

XXX

Dinner wasn't horrible. In fact, it was enjoyable and Clarke found that it was easy to talk to Bellamy. She found that it was easy to forget her walls when she was with him, and it was easy to forget that he wasn't really her boyfriend. 

When they walked out, the cold night air caught Clarke by surprise and she shrieked before turning to the amused Bellamy. 

"I hate Autumn!" She yelled and began to laugh. Bellamy laughed too and pulled her closer to his side. He laced his fingers between hers and Clarke's smile faltered a little, before she shook it off and grinned. 

"What now?" 

"Walk?"

"Sounds cold,"

"So that's a no?" Bellamy said, disappointment polluting his words. 

"Didn't say it was a no," Clarke loved to see how those six words could make someone smile. 

"You're just going to have to keep me close or else I'll freeze," 

"That was a given anyway," 

They walked like that, until they found themselves back in front of the building. They walked inside in complete silence and Clarke felt his hand loosen from hers. 

"We never spoke," he said, simply. 

"We will have to go out again."

"I missed you, Clarke. I know that it was only a few days, but you can't pull back from me like that."

"I know," 

"I love you, Clarke, you know that,"

She didn't reply that time, only kissed him lightly on the corner of his lips. 

"Thank you for this evening. I had a great time." 

She closed the door behind her, sinking to the floor and thought that perhaps she should pretend to still love Bellamy for a little longer. 

You know, she thought, to make sure it wasn't suspicious or anything if she immediately broke up with him. 

No other reason at all.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think! Thanks for reading :)


	18. Unwelcome Thoughts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Firstly, I know that it's been too long since I updated. Life has just been so hectic wrapping up matric and finals on the way. I'm not going to promise anything but I will try to update as soon as I possibly can. 
> 
> Secondly, thank you to everyone who reads this. I cannot believe that this story has gotten 100 kudos. It's so many more than I thought I would get. I just wrote this fic because I love The 100 and I wanted to put some of my work onto a public platform. I love everyone of you who support this story and your comments are life. Your feedback is what keeps me writing this through plot blocks and doubt that this is even readable. Thank you :) 
> 
> Thirdly, this is a filler chapter, but I hope you still enjoy it. 
> 
> I hope you enjoy it :)

Clarke frowned at the chopping board, carefully dicing the onion while Raven and Octavia chattered with an amused Wells. Clarke tried to drown out their comments and suggestions about her 'relationship' and she blinked the tears out of her eyes, wrinkling her nose at the onion smell on her hands as she wiped a tear from her cheek. 

"Oh, Clarke's crying. I knew she didn't have a heart of stone!" Raven yelled dramatically while Octavia tittered. 

"What do you think did it?" She asked, posing in mock confusion. 

"I think it was the part where you said Bell is still really happy with Clarke. As soon as you said that, she started crying," Raven said, grinning at the scowling Clarke. 

"As soon as you said that, I started chopping the onion. Don't start rumours, Rae, we all know where they got you in third grade," 

Wells started cackling and Octavia flipped her attention to Raven. 

"Oh, do tell," 

Raven shrugged it off sheepishly but Octavia began to pester her. Her exclamation that "But everyone else knows that story, what's one more person?" Was cut short by the telephone. 

The phone rang twice, and Clarke answered it hastily, the cool voice of Dr. Tsing responding. 

"Miss Griffin, are we still okay for tomorrow?"

Clarke found herself chewing her lip, a habit that her mother found annoying when she was growing up. She used to slap Clarke's shoulder when she saw her indulging the habit, but she wouldn't say anything, only pursing her lips and widening her eyes meaningfully at her daughter. She had stopped doing it eventually, something that wasn't received with anything more than a tight smile. But Clarke found herself doing it again, pondering the calm voice and the white walls of the clinic. 

She wanted the cure, she knew that much. Every cell screamed for it and every thump of her heart seemed to resound in a solid yes yes yes. Clarke decided that she had never wanted anything more than the ability to stay in one place and to not feel the worry intermingle with the pain of the headaches when a Jump was coming. 

But she didn't trust them. She didn't trust their plastic smiles or their clean building. She didn't trust their concern or their ability to help her. It seemed too perfect, too neat, too convenient. 

But her mother came to mind again. The deep sighs at Clarke's melancholy, the clenched jaws at her pessimism and scowls.   
Her mother had always said to have faith, to see the best in people and to look and see light in a situation. She would want Clarke to take the chance, Clarke knew it. It would make her happy, it would make her safe. 

"We're on," she said and Dr. Tsing replied sweetly, "See you then, Miss Griffin,"

Clarke turned to the people behind her who looked a little confused at her but she smiled and returned to chopping the onions. 

The conversation continued, Clarke trying not to react when they returned to Bellamy. 

She could hardly say that dating Bellamy was a chore. They went out most evenings, either alone or to Grounders with their friends, where he would lace his fingers through hers and smile through the corner of his mouth whenever he looked at her. 

She hadn't had the heart to end it. 

She had been in this Timeline for over three months now, and she had slowly found her footing. 

She was due to complete a collection of paintings that would be exhibited in Lincoln's Gallery at the end of the month, she was waitressing on weekends at The Drop Ship Cafe and Indra was as tough a boss here as she was in her original Timeline. Raven and Wells were happy, and he was planning to propose before the year ended. Raven knew, but she pretended she didn't. Maia and Jasper were annoyingly perfect, and Clarke liked the new addition to the group. 

Maia was an art teacher, information that Lincoln accepted excitedly. Her work had been exhibited too, and Clarke liked how she fit into the dynamic of the group. 

Everything was good. Life seemed calm and days flowed easily into one another. 

And the prospect of the cure was deliciously tangible. 

The only thing that seemed out of place was Bellamy's smiles and Bellamy's kisses and Bellamy's attention. 

Octavia would often raise her eyebrow when Clarke would lean into him when they spoke but she said nothing, something that Clarke was thankful for. 

She was a better actor than she thought and she played the girlfriend so well that sometimes she fooled herself. 

Wells had taken to looking sympathetically at Bellamy. He was a bad liar and he knew that Clarke was trying to end it as soon as possible. Bellamy, luckily, had not noticed, but Raven elbowed Wells often to break his stare. 

All three of them, Wells, Raven and Octavia, seemed to congregate in Clarke's apartment every opportunity they had to talk about the 'Bellarke' situation. Clarke would try to ignore this but she found herself unintentionally adding to the conversation, explaining dates and interactions with Bellamy, feeling a little like a thirteen year old with a crush. 

Raven looked at the wall clock and sighed, "Wells, we're meeting your dad in about an hour. We should get going," 

Wells groaned but he stood, "My dad's here for a week and he wanted to properly meet Raven."

"I can't believe you've been dating for over a year and you've never met his dad," Clarke laughed, glad for the attention to be on someone other than her. 

"Frankly, neither can I," Raven pouted, but she smiled when Wells pulled her in and kissed her on the cheek. 

"Goals!" Shrieked Octavia and she pranced to Clarke. 

"I should head too, Bell will be home soon,"

Clarke nodded and tipped to board of chopped onions into the pot. 

"Smells good," Raven said, smiling. 

"We all know she can't cook. I wouldn't eat what's in that pot if I was bribed," Octavia said, grimacing. 

"Bellamy doesn't know that, and I would thank you not to tell him. I'm following a recipe and I'm sure it will taste... at least... it's going to be edible!" Clarke said emphatically to her grinning friends. 

"Have fun tonight Clarke, don't make bad decisions." 

"Don't do anything I wouldn't do," Octavia piped and Raven laughed. 

"So that disqualifies the kissing and the touching and the-" 

"Okay, okay," Clarke stuttered. Her friends laughed and Wells hugged her goodbye. 

"Send us any updates," Raven said. 

"On the Bellarke group!" Octavia said happily. 

"I can't believe you made a group for this," Wells sighed. 

Clarke pushed them out of her apartment l before they could continue and she began to think about how to start the process of letting Bellamy go. Her cooking would probably help, she thought, looking at the mass of food stuff at the bottom of the pot. 

She looked at the recipe book and back at the pot. It looked nothing like the picture. 

She sighed and pulled it off the stove and threw the pot into the sink. 

A little thing like food poisoning would probably do nothing to dissuade Bellamy's affections. She needed to think bigger. She needed a new plan. She couldn't come up with a plan in the next two hours, she told herself. She would just have to start distancing herself next time. 

She sighed again when she realised that she had thought something similar before, but that didn't stop her from thinking it just the same.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please feel free to comment and tell me what you thought. Also, if you liked this, check out my other (shorter and also incomplete) story Waiting For You. Thanks for reading! :)


	19. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi to everyone actually still reading this story... I am sorry for the wait, and I actually cannot believe that it has been over a year since I updated. I got into Law School, so that has been a crazy amount of work and I am so sorry for the lack of updates. I am going to try a lot harder to actually get this done, and I hope that there are still people willing and wanting to read this. The comments that I get from those who read this literally are what brought me back, and I hope that this chapter does not disappoint. Happy reading, and thanks for sticking with me. xx

The white walls looked the same, glaringly white and the soft classical music in the background was interrupted every now and again by the shrill telephone. She was early for her appointment, and they were running late, the combination resulting in her wishing that she had brought a book or something. The magazines on the coffee table looked boring, and even the photoshopped smile of a young woman in skin tight clothing could hardly make her want to read about the top five surprising ways she might be retaining weight. Clarke frowned at her fingernails, looking at her limp hands in her lap. She could not help but think of the night before, and she frowned a little deeper when the phone went off again and the tight-lipped secretary answered, her voice loud over the strains of the violins. 

Clarke was alone in the waiting room, she realised. Besides the secretary, she was the only person in the room. She wished, for a moment, before she stopped herself, that she had asked Bellamy to come with her. He would have come, she knew it, but it would have raised questions. Questions she was not willing to answer. She shook her head, looking up from her hands. She needed to stop thinking about him… about the way he smiled at her… about how… she stopped. 

Enough, Clarke. She said to herself, closing her eyes and taking a deep breath. After the night before, Clarke could do very little to deny the fact that she was, undeniably, and annoyingly, somehow attached to Bellamy. And his stupid brown eyes. Dammit.

She looked at the clock on the wall, watching the second-hand move. Slowly. 

She sighed, and her stomach growled. It was almost nine, and she had not eaten. Dr. Tsing had asked that she wouldn’t, something about tests and science and… she had leftovers in her fridge. Clarke sighed again, trying to forget about the pizza in the fridge.  
Bellamy had taken one look at the mess in the pot yesterday, and had ordered in, laughing the entire time. It was disgraceful how much Clarke loved the sound, the deep sound of his laugh as he ordered the pizza, and it was even more annoying that he ordered her favourite, smiling at her when he did. 

Dammit, I said enough. 

“Clarke?” the secretary said, looking up from her computer screen. “You can go through, you know where to go? Third door on the right?”

Clarke nodded, lifting herself up. 

Dr. Tsing and Dr. Wallace were standing together, bent over a file. They smiled as Clarke walked in, and immediately stopped talking. 

“Please, Miss. Griffin, take a seat.” Dr. Wallace said, broadening his smile.

“I hope you are well?” he asked, his eyes moving back to the folder that was now closed at his side.

“Quite. And yourself?”

It was formal, painful, forced. But she managed a smile anyway, wondering what was written in the file. 

“Oh yes, very well. Right to business then?” 

Clarke nodded.

“Alright, so the tests came back. Everything seems normal,”

“Besides the fact I can’t seem to stay put in a timeline, but besides that, totally normal, right?”

Dr. Wallace’s smile dipped a little.

“Yes,” he coughed. “’totally normal’,”

“So what now?”

Dr. Tsing spoke for the first time, her eyes not meeting Clarke’s. 

“We would like to start a few more practical tests. Testing your heart rate, your-“

“-More tests? I thought you said you could help me.”

“Yes, but with such limited data we cant-“

“Forget it,”

Dr. Wallace coughed again, and he shifted slightly. “Just give us a chance Miss. Griffin. There isn’t much we can do without your help. This is unchartered territory, science that has  
never been seen before. A little grace couldn’t do you any harm.”

Clarke wanted to tell them to shove it. But she gritted her teeth and thought of how she might not have to Jump anymore, the feeling of not being a stranger in your own life.

“Alright, so what?”

Dr. Tsing smiled at Dr. Wallace, who in turn smiled at Clarke. 

“Just through here, Miss. Griffin,” he said, gesturing for her to follow him.

XXX

It was late afternoon when she arrived back at her apartment. She had been poked and prodded, asked to run around and around and around. She was tired, her muscles ached and all she wanted was to lie down. And the pizza. 

Bellamy was waiting outside, leaning on the wall typing on his phone. He grinned when he saw her, and moved to kiss her.

“You smell weird,” he said, wrinkling his nose as he pulled away, but he was smiling nonetheless. 

“Hey to you too,” she chuckled. 

“Where you been? You’ve been gone most of the day. Everything alright?”

He looked down at her, frowning a little in concern and Clarke realised something then and there. He did not deserve to live in this strange limbo that they had been in. constantly wondering why there was something just not quite right. And then she decided, she needed to do it. She needed to tell him, even though she would sound crazy. He was looking at her, worried for a woman she wasn't, and if anything, it would give her the chance to end whatever this was, she supposed. She ached a little at the thought, but pushed it down. She took a deep breath and began to speak.

“Actually,” she said, watching his eyes widen, feeling a tightness in her chest, “there is something I need to tell you…”

XXX

“I’m sorry, what?”

Clarke couldn’t look Bellamy in the eye, and she simply shrugged. She didn’t seem know what else to say, but what she had said, well, it sounded ridiculous, every word seemed to be lined with fallacy. Bellamy ran his hand through his hair, and he groaned.

“You’re messing with me, right? Why…?” he trailed off, “Why would…? I don’t… understand.”

“I’m not lying, Bell. I get that its… well, it’s crazy, but I am telling the truth.”

She met his eyes for the first time, and he realised, as soon as she did, that he believed her, despite everything. Her face was white, he realised, and she was chewing her lip again, something that her mother had discouraged, but he had always thought it was cute. He mumbled something, he wasn’t quite sure what he said, he just needed to fill the silence.

“Look, Bell, I can leave if you need… I don’t know… some time?”

He jumped when she said it. Time.

Fuck.

She was a fucking time traveller. And a murdering one, at that.

And he thought Gina had been slightly weird because she liked liquorice.

“Don’t be ridiculous,” he snapped. “This is your apartment,”

Clarke flinched at his words, and she shifted away from him.

“So, what you’re saying is,” he paused, “that you and I… that you don’t… that we,”

“Bell,”

“Don’t ‘Bell’ me right now, Clarke,”

She flinched again, and Bellamy realised that this must be hard for her too. She had gone through all sorts of shit that he could not even begin to imagine. He sighed, swallowing some of his confusion and anger and disbelief.

“I’m sorry,” he said, moving to where she sat, wrapping his arms around her.

“I’m sorry,” he said again, and she began to cry.

“I’m sorry, too,” she said. “I didn’t want to do it this way, I wish that…”

Bellamy brought her closer, and he stroked her head, feeling the familiar feeling of her head nestled against his chest. Something so mundane, but so natural. She looked up at him, her eyes peering underneath eyelashes.

“I really am, Bell. I never wanted to hurt you, and I never imagined that I would actually…” she stopped, as if catching herself and she moved out of his arms.

“So, for the last… us... it wasn’t real?” he heard himself say, his voice seeming strangely detached.

Clarke’s eyes flashed, and she looked away quickly. Bellamy thought he saw something in her eyes, something that he had seen so often in the eyes of the Clarke that he had known and loved. She didn’t answer for a while, and Bellamy could not help but hope. She opened her mouth, and Bellamy found that his breath was catching. He needed to hear her say it, but he could see that she was struggling to get the words out. Until she did, breaking his heart as she did.

“No, it wasn’t real.”


	20. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I actually updated... I have recently shown this to a friend, who has become a wonderful voice of support towards this work, and anyone reading this should thank her for the update. She literally has been hounding me to do so, which was a great help. To those reading this work and, who are not biased because they are my friend, and nevertheless comment and subscribe and leave kudos, you are amazing! Thank you for your support and I hope that you continue to enjoy the story. Please feel free to leave any comments about what you think. They are a wonderful encouragement. I hope you enjoy this rather short chapter... I will update again soon. :)

“I cannot believe that you told him,” Octavia scowled, falling back further into the couch. Raven had just pursed her lips, and Wells was trying to look supportive but Clarke could clearly see a frown above his eyes. 

“It was the right thing to do,” Clarke said, “Wasn’t it?” she added, unsure.

“Absolutely,” Raven said, eyeing Octavia and Wells, as if signalling them to be supportive alongside her but her words fell flat and Clarke could hear that deep down, none of her friends felt as if she had done the right thing. Whether that was because of the fucking ‘Bellarke’ shit that they had been so enamoured with, Clarke felt more unsure about her decision nevertheless. 

Octavia simply huffed and she shook her head. “I just… I just thought that it was going so well,” she eventually said. 

“Going well? I was lying to him, O.” Clarke replied, feeling three pairs of eyes on her, eyes that she could not meet.

“Were you, though? I mean, sure, you weren’t telling him everything but you didn’t make anything up. Did you?” Raven asked.

Clarke shrugged, “I guess if you look at it that way, but-”

Octavia scoffed, “You were happy, and you knew it. You were just caught up in this weird timeline shit.”

“It wasn’t me who-”

Wells, who had for the most part been completely silent, groaned. “You’ve got to be kidding me, Clarke. I’m not completely sure how this works, but I can tell you for certain that you are pretty much the exact same person as you were before. Despite some annoying angsty tendencies, you seem to be, well, you’re Clarke.”

Clarke wondered at that. He had a point, she supposed. She could not have been that different from the other Clarke. They had gone through more or less the same shit. She had the same friends, the same apartment… and then a sickening thought hit her. As if unlocking a strange part of her brain, she thought of the night before she Jumped. Of Bellamy at her door, and of the feeling she had felt when he had called her ‘Princess’, and how she had been willing, even for a moment, to be his friend. About how that Bellamy had been the same as the one that she knew now. And that, despite her best attempts to think otherwise, he was hardly the asshole that she had pegged him as.

“I fucked up, didn’t I?”

“No shit, Sherlock,” Octavia snorted, which received a slap from Raven.

“Look, Clarke, you did the right thing. You had to tell him eventually. I mean, you were going to anyway, before you got… replaced? Can I use ‘replaced’? Or do you have a term  
you prefer?”

“Replaced is fine,”

“Alright, so you were replaced. My point is, is that this was a shitty way for him to find out and no doubt is going to leave him a little bruised. But, if you want my advice, take back what you said about it meaning nothing. I know you, and it did not mean nothing. Anyone can see that, except for fucking Bellamy Blake. You said he deserved the truth, then tell him the truth dammit.”

Clarke kept silent for a moment, knowing that Raven had a point, a good one at that. 

“But that involves…”

“You actually admitting that you fucked up and getting off your ass to fix it?”

“I wouldn’t put it that way exactly but-”

“-Oh please, I’m right and you know it.” Raven smirked.

Clarke didn’t reply, only shrugged, but Raven seemed to take it as the answer she had been waiting for. 

Octavia sat forward, smiling as she did. 

“You need to talk to my brother now, because, quite frankly, it took long enough for you guys to do it right the first time, and Replacement Clarke is NOT going to mess up everything that we have all waited for, for so long.”

Clarke frowned, “But what if he-”

“I’m going to stop you right there,” Wells said, “And I actually cannot believe that I’m saying this, because the ‘Bellarke’ group is… well, anyway, you and Bellamy work. This is just a… really weird problem that you guys have to work through. Everyone has their shit, yours is just a little more sci-fi.”

Raven and Octavia made noises of agreement and then Raven began to laugh.

"Back to square one, I guess. This pretty much is a problem that I am not going to keep out of. You should know, Clarke, that we are all here for you. A little too much, you might argue but..."

Clarke smiled, "Okay, what do I do?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments and Kudos are greatly appreciated :) please feel free to let me know what you think


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